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Get the Life You Want: The Secrets to Quick and Lasting Life Change with Neuro-Linguistic Programming Hardcover – August 21, 2008

4.5 out of 5 stars 723 ratings

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Richard Bandler is known worldwide as the cofounder of neurolinguistic programming (NLP). Here, in what will be considered a classic, is Bandler at his best—the most accessible and engaging work yet, detailing his proven methods that have freed tens of thousands of people worldwide of their destructive habits, phobias,and fears.

When conventional therapy and drugs fail, Richard Bandler delivers, often with miraculous results. Richard Bandler cocreated the field of NLP with John Grinder in the early 1970s. Since then, Bandler's work revolutionized the field of personal change; his models and methods have been widely adopted and used successfully in colleges and universities, therapists'offices, professional sports teams, and businesses across the globe.

While many people have written books on NLP, much of what has been written is based on Bandler's ideas.
Get The Life You Want shares 'the how' from Bandler himself, with remarkable insights into some of his greatest and most advanced work to date, including compelling true examples from client sessions. With more than thirty exercises that promise rapid relief from any problem or habit, plus a glossary of terms and a detailed index, this is a culmination of a lifetime of work written in a simple, engaging style that both clinicians and laypeople will find effective.

Richard Bandler's books have sold more than half a million copies worldwide. Tens of thousands of people, many of them therapists, have studied Bandler's blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and positive thinking at colleges and NLP training centers in the United States, Europe, and Australia. He is the author of
Using Your Brain—for a Change, Time for Change, Magic in Action, and The Structure of Magic. He coauthored Frogs into Princes, Persuasion Engineering, The Structure of Magic Volume II, and Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson Volume I.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

'Richard Bandler has made an extraordinary contribution to people's lives across the planet. His highly powerful personal change techniques have enabled millions around the world to feel better about themselves and improve their lives. He gets results that nobody else can. Read Richard Bandler's Guide to Personal Change: It will change your life.'

-- Paul McKenna, Ph.D., coauthor of I Can Make You Thin and host of TLC's I Can Make You Thin

'I know your life is about to change for the better. Why? Because you want it to, and because you have this book in your hands. With Richard Bandler's Guide to Personal Change and your willingness, you really can shift your life―starting from now."

-- Robert Holden, Ph.D., author of Shift Happens! and Happiness NOW



'For years, anyone wanting to learn directly from Richard Bandler had two choices: pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars to attend a live training or settle for material in books that, while excellent, were ten to thirty years behind the cutting edge. With this new book, Richard Bandler's Guide to Personal Change, the cutting edge has finally arrived―and it's sharper than ever!'

-- Michael Neill, author, You Can Have What You Want

About the Author

Richard Bandler's books have sold more than half a million copies worldwide. Tens of thousands of people, many of them therapists, have studied Bandler's blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and positive thinking at colleges and NLP training centers in the United States, Europe, and Australia. He is the author of Using Your Brain—for a Change, Time for Change, Magic in Action, and The Structure of Magic. He coauthored Frogs into Princes, Persuasion Engineering, The Structure of Magic Volume II, and Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson Volume I.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Health Communications Inc; 1st edition (August 21, 2008)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 264 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0757307760
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0757307768
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.1 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 723 ratings

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Richard Bandler
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Richard Bandler’s seminars & workshops include Neuro-Hypnotic Repatterning®, Design Human Engineering®, Persuasion Engineering®, Personal Enhancement™, Charisma Enhancement®, Hypnosis, and others!

Dr. Bandler has continued to improve and evolve the field of NLP and gone on to develop other seminars as well, Design Human Engineering®, Persuasion Engineering®, Neuro-Hypnotic Repatterning® to name a few.

He has been interviewed by a variety of magazines from Psychology Today to Newsweek. Most major newspapers, TV Networks and Radio Stations around the world have interviewed him over the past 30+ years.

Dr. Bandler, a mathematician, philosopher, modeler, teacher, artist and composer for four decades has left a legacy of books, videos, audios, art, students and a body of knowledge that will change therapy, education and medicine forever. He has hundreds of thousands of students and hundreds of licensed institutes all over the world.

Dr. Bandler has made his mark and says he is just getting warmed up.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
723 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this NLP book practical and full of specific techniques that can change their lives, making it one of the best books for beginners in the field. They appreciate its humor and effective approach, with one customer noting how the spinning technique works remarkably well. The book receives positive feedback for its readability, pacing, and layout, with one customer describing it as a "massive brain massage." The clarity aspect receives mixed reviews.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

90 customers mention "Ease of use"85 positive5 negative

Customers find the book practical and easy to use, providing specific techniques that can change their lives.

"...Very practical. Another thing that I want to point out is that various personal growth gurus all have their own voice, so does Richard...." Read more

"...in your life where you would like more freedom, power, joy and full self expression. Then take it on. Follow the directions and go for it...." Read more

"Richard Bandler has developed a useful manual of exercises to help the reader overcome negative attitudes and behaviours...." Read more

"Excellent Book. Very informative and helpful. This was an easy read with a lot of good information and helpful to me and others in my practice...." Read more

37 customers mention "Readability"32 positive5 negative

Customers find the book readable and appreciate it as a good introduction to NLP, particularly for beginners.

"...way, the right way, his way - he is ALL ABOUT doing what works, doing it fast, and creating shifts in your life that impact you immediately and..." Read more

"...The book has three major themes (getting over it, getting through it, getting to it) which are in turn divided into the important challenges of life..." Read more

"...This book is a lot of work. You can read through the book quickly, but must go back and do the exercises that apply to your life...." Read more

"...There is probably some good content but only about two of the chapters felt present-day relevant, and he didn't go into the depth I had hoped around..." Read more

15 customers mention "Effectiveness"15 positive0 negative

Customers find the book very effective, with several describing it as one of the best books they've ever read, and one mentioning that the spinning technique works remarkably well.

"...But lo and behold, it works like a charm! I was blown away. Specifically, I had some recurring negative memories...." Read more

"...of them are: letting go of the past, no future anxiety/worry, making good movies instead of always thinking of the bad that will go wrong. LAUGHING!..." Read more

"...I found his spinning technique working remarkably well if you want to amplify the good feeling and change your mood for a better rapidly. All..." Read more

"...easiest path to becoming a master hypnotist, as you gorge on extremely effective and simple methods it contains to optimally change yourself, and..." Read more

6 customers mention "Humor"6 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's humor, with one mentioning its no-nonsense quotes.

"...I really like and relate to his approach: it is easy going, with humor, lighten up type of approach...." Read more

"...He is, as always, witty, and trance-formative. I think I will always love NLP because I love Bandler's writing style...." Read more

"...Quite a few profound things, no-nonsense quotes.. Recommended highly, just don't expect a 200 page book to replace therapy." Read more

"...Even has his voice and trademark humor. Well worth the money and investment in your time to read." Read more

6 customers mention "Mood improvement"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helps improve their mood, with one mentioning it quickly changes their emotional state, while another describes it as a "massive brain massage."

"...and relate to his approach: it is easy going, with humor, lighten up type of approach...." Read more

"...well if you want to amplify the good feeling and change your mood for a better rapidly. All in all, it is an excellent manual to work on..." Read more

"...contains to optimally change yourself, and others, into your maximized relaxed state!..." Read more

"...I finish this book in 3 days and I can see that I feel myself more happy and more determined" Read more

5 customers mention "Pacing"5 positive0 negative

Customers praise the pacing of the book, with one customer noting it combines Bandler's brilliance.

"One of the best books I've ever read! Bandler is a genius and more people have to know about NLP and how to truly use their mind." Read more

"...Get The Life You Want is fabulous, combining Bandler's brilliance, humor and step-by-step process instructions for making the changes you want...." Read more

"A great book that will help anyone. Richard Bandler is exceptional!!" Read more

"The NLP master at his best." Read more

4 customers mention "Layout"4 positive0 negative

Customers like the layout of the book, with one mentioning it is well structured.

"...and creating shifts in your life that impact you immediately and generatively...." Read more

"...to the essentials, as I do, this is the book to be read: clear, well structured and without any useless beating around the bush, that many of the..." Read more

"Nothing new if you are familiar with submodalities, well put material, clear patterns and the kind of straight forwardness you'd expect from Mr...." Read more

"I like the layout of this book. I recently watched a few of his videos and decided to buy this book. I would recommend it to anyone." Read more

9 customers mention "Clarity"6 positive3 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the clarity of the book, with some finding it easy to understand, while others mention it requires patience and discipline to go over everything in detail.

"...I have no trouble at all with visualization or with calling up (or creating) a visual or aural memory or a scent or tactile sensation...." Read more

"...This book requires a lot of patience and belief in the methods presented. I patiently read and tried to use the methods provided...." Read more

"...These pattern busters really do the trick and give you some lead time to start making new habits to replace the old...." Read more

"...new if you are familiar with submodalities, well put material, clear patterns and the kind of straight forwardness you'd expect from Mr. Bandler...." Read more

NLP MYSTERY SOLVED
5 out of 5 stars
NLP MYSTERY SOLVED
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT NLP IS THIS BOOK EXPLAINS IT BUY THIS BOOK FIRST
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on July 28, 2016
    I first came across NLP through the teachings of Tony Robbins. Tony uses it a lot. I then went through extensive life coaching training and also met lots of life coaches. I quickly realized just how many of them use NLP - all the time and with great success! Although in many cases they don't necessarily say explicitly that they use NLP, but it is NLP.

    When I first tried NLP, specifically the Swish technique, I didn't expect much. But lo and behold, it works like a charm! I was blown away. Specifically, I had some recurring negative memories. With the Swish technique, these negative memories vanished literally within 2-3 days. That's all it took. I do still sometimes think of those things - but when I do, they seem so far away, all blurred, "small" in size, "black and white," and without any emotional charge.

    So then I decided to look more into NLP.

    I LOVED this book! I got so much value out of it!

    The way the book is structured:

    1) First, Richard details the various NLP techniques.

    2) Then, he goes on to show how to tackle various common challenges and desires, using these techniques. He groups these into three groups:
    a) Getting over things (e.g., getting over fear and anxiety, getting over bad memories);
    b) Getting through things (e.g., through habits and compulsions);
    c) Getting to things (e.g., getting to make more money, meet people, etc).

    As a side note, I'd like to comment on the "spinning" technique. Richard uses this pretty much in every section of the book. I see in the comments that some folks struggle with this idea and don't feel any "spinning." I was in the same boat. At first I did not feel any "spinning" at all and just couldn't get it. But then I got it! Richard explains (in the section about fear) that sometimes the tension gets so tight that it is not "spinning" - it's like if you screw something in very tightly. It just feels tight and stuck. In that case, he recommends trying to imagine "spinning" it one direction, e.g., clockwise, and then the other direction, - and see how it feels. Once I did that, I totally got it! Basically, if I try "spinning" the tightness of, say, where I feel the stress in one direction, it makes it feel worse, to the point of almost physical pain. But if I imagine "spinning" it in the opposite direction, then it feels so much lighter, freer, etc.

    Very practical. Another thing that I want to point out is that various personal growth gurus all have their own voice, so does Richard. I really like and relate to his approach: it is easy going, with humor, lighten up type of approach. He also emphasizes that it should not take long to tackle problems, he believes in quick and efficient solutions. In other words, don't get married to your problems! Move on! :)

    P.S.: In the recommended further reading list, Richard recommends books by Paul McKenna, another personal growth guru. I decided to check those out and was blown away. Paul McKenna's books are awesome, he is now one of my favorite authors! E.g., Change Your Life in 7 Days (I Can Make You) and his other books.
    62 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2008
    I was on a conference call with Richard about a week or so ago and we talked about this book and the upcoming release of his hypnotic language patterns book (coming out November).

    Here is what I can say from my heart about the man and about this book: Richard loves life, he loves people, and you get that in this book. He doesn't see any need for suffering over time. Whatever is not working for you in your life, Richard knows that you can get through it, over it or to it without suffering over time. He is not about doing it one way, the right way, his way - he is ALL ABOUT doing what works, doing it fast, and creating shifts in your life that impact you immediately and generatively. A generative shift is one that self adjusts over time, giving you access to more freedom, self expression and power in your life.

    During the call, Richard shared that the idea for the book came to him while he was cooking. He thought about all the folks who will never walk into a certified NLP training, who may be intimated to delve into Hypnotic Learning Patterns or The Structure of Magic. All at once he knew that after nearly 40 years of change making with people from all walks of life and all parts of the world, that he was the one, (and I say the ONLY ONE) who could write a workable book where foundational NLP techniques and DHE tools are as easy to follow as a recipe for baking a chocolate cake.

    He achieved his goal. As soon as I am out of the swimming pool, I am sending you a postcard, dear friend! (Swimming phobia from age 8, professional lessons, prior hypnosis, even a Tony Robbins phobia session did not work; what it took was this book!)

    Buy the book. Put your skepticism in your closet long enough to read it. Choose one place in your life where you would like more freedom, power, joy and full self expression. Then take it on. Follow the directions and go for it. There's more than one technique to choose from, so no worry if the first one doesn't get it, go for the next one. My personal favorite, spinning the feelings in opposite directions. This is a big part of what smashed to pieces the real physical phobic responses my body experienced whenever I tried to swim.

    If you want to have a life that works in a world that works, this is the book to buy now. No NLP experience required.
    150 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Antonio Picazo
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente
    Reviewed in Mexico on June 21, 2017
    Un libro de gran contenido que es de gran utilidad y por supuesto escrito por el padre de la PNL
    Report
  • Cliente Amazon
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente Libro.
    Reviewed in Spain on February 21, 2016
    Incluye excelentes técnicas de PNL. Contiene aplicaciones sencillas pero potentes a la vida cotidiana.
    Fácil lectura. Lo recomiendo altamente. Una de mis mejores compras que he realizado.
  • Felipe
    4.0 out of 5 stars Submodalities
    Reviewed in Brazil on July 12, 2015
    "Fears always have to be replaced with sensory acuity. They also can be tackled by taking control of the feeling itself."

    "It's a mechanical function because you need to talk to your neurology. You need to tell it what you want it to see, what you want it to feel and whenever it shows you a picture from the past that you don't like, you need to make it an instinct to white it out and to put up a picture from your future of how you want to be."

    "This is because the way in which people stay in love is much like grief in the sense that what you associate with and what you disassociate from determines how you'll move in the future."

    "Our ability to associate good feelings with things or bad feelings with things should be a conscious choice. When you redirect your own thoughts, when you decide what memories to associate with and what memories to disassociate with, when you manipulate your thoughts deliberately, it is called thinking. We are thinking beings when we think deliberately. When we let our thoughts just happen to us, we lose our personal freedom."

    "Taking control of what feels good is an important part of serious determination. It's what gets you through things and getting through things will make life loads better."

    "It is true for every big event that we organize in life. If you plan cleverly, and you plan on feeling good during the process, that will allow you to get through the challenges much more effectively."

    "Mental management is what produces productive human beings. Productive people decide, I'm going to spend this time doing this and I'm going to putt my full attention to it. When I come home from work, I'm going to give my full attention to my wife, and then I'm going to give my full attention to my kids, and then to my dog. Then I'm going to devote an hour to spending my full attention on something else. This is for everything from watching TV to pondering on some work issues. Then, you attend fully to talking to your wife, or sleeping, or whatever the task is."

    "Whenever people are so worried about themselves rather than the feelings of other people, it's easy to get nervous. I told her instead to imagine being at that party and realising that there were people all over that room that were more nervous than she was. I explained that her job was to find them and help them to feel comfortable because if she could make three other people feel comfortable and happy, her fears would disappear forever."

    "So that not only did he have motivation, he had a plan. The difficulty most people have getting to things is that they have no plan."

    "Yet, if you can take the image of what produces intense desire in you, and you move the image of you doing taxes into that place, then you will start to feel like doing them. It really is that simple. You have an incredible ability inside your head to manifest the kinds of feelings that you need when you need them."

    "The difference is, how do you define when to have your stress? If you're going to have it, you might as well do it sooner rather than later. Most people don't plan. Planning is everything. It's about looking into your timeline and deciding when to worry. If you must worry, you might as well do it sooner."

    "A propulsion system simply means attaching powerfully positive feelings to doing something and attaching powerfully negative feelings to not doing something."

    "For example, as you already know, you don't always do what you should do but you might do what you need to do. These words are very powerful drivers for your behaviour. When you figure out which ones work best for you, you can begin to use those ones deliberately for when you need them. You will also learn to become aware of the tone and rhythm of your inner voice which most inspires and motivates you."

    "If you notice the submodalities of something you feel desire for and something you want to feel desire for, move what you want to feel desire for out into the distance and pull it back up in the submodalities of what you do desire. Then you will start to feel desire towards the new activity. This is called a swish pattern."

    "So, who's beating you up and stopping you from getting on the machine? It must be you!"

    "If you don't mentally plan, then you're not mentally organized. If you're not mentally organized, then it's harder to create organization on the outside."

    "They over-plan things. Whenever you over-plan or under-plan you haven't really got a useful plan, so what you need to do is to be able to create a realistic plan. It is a plan that also involves you looking happy and being happy."

    "If you plan to have good habits, you will and if you don't, you won't."

    "Always ask how you can be more valuable to the world and prepare to work more effectively than ever before."

    "You have to decide what it is you enjoy doing. Once you know what you enjoy, you can plan how to get there and do it."

    "Looking back on what you've read so far, what I have presented here is a variety of ways of organizing your internal world so that you have more control over what your brain does."
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Un manuel pour hacker son cerveau (sans le rendre fou)
    Reviewed in France on December 11, 2024
    Richard Bandler, le co-créateur de la PNL, nous livre dans Get the Life You Want un guide pratique pour transformer sa vie. C’est un peu comme si on avait une boîte à outils pour reprogrammer son cerveau, mais sans la notice compliquée. Ici, chaque outil est expliqué avec clarté et simplicité.

    Ce que j’ai adoré, c’est le ton direct de Bandler. Pas de blabla inutile, il va droit au but. Besoin de surmonter une phobie ? Hop, une technique. Marre de vos croyances limitantes ? Voilà comment les dégommer. Ce n’est pas un livre qu’on lit comme un roman ; c’est un compagnon de route à utiliser et réutiliser.

    Ce qui le rend unique, c’est qu’il s’adresse à tout le monde, que vous soyez déjà familier avec la PNL ou totalement novice. Et bien sûr, il y a l’humour signature de Bandler. Par moments, on a l’impression qu’il est là, assis à côté de vous, en train de balancer une blague ou une anecdote absurde pour vous faire passer un point clé.

    Si je devais trouver un défaut, ce serait que certaines techniques demandent un peu de pratique (et de patience) avant de donner des résultats. Mais franchement, on ne devient pas maître de son esprit du jour au lendemain, non ?

    En résumé, Get the Life You Want est un livre qui donne envie d’agir. Si vous êtes prêt à expérimenter, vous allez repartir avec des outils puissants pour changer votre vie. Et si ça ne marche pas du premier coup ? Eh bien, comme dirait Bandler : « Faites-le différemment, mais faites-le ! »
  • Joanna
    5.0 out of 5 stars Effective!
    Reviewed in Canada on August 22, 2010
    I should probably say that I'd read/skimmed through NLP books before, so that by the time I came across this book, I've already had some context. Having said that, I was feeling anxious about a particular thing while looking through this book, and came upon the following (effective for me!) strategy to reduce anxiety:

    Reversing Anxiety Exercise
    (Neuro-Hypnotic Repatterning)

    1. Think of something that makes you feel fearful or anxious.

    2. Notice which direction the anxiety spins in your body, and visualize it using red arrows that point which way it moves.

    3. Imagine taking the feeling outside of your body, turning it around, changing the arrows from red to blue, and pulling it back in so the feeling spins in the opposite direction in your body.

    4. Keep spinning the feeling faster and faster in the opposite direction in your body as you notice yourself feeling differently.

    5. Think of something that makes you feel really comfortable. Notice which direction this feeling moves in.

    6. Spin this comfortable feeling as you imagine the experience going really well and working out perfectly.

    7. As you do this, look at what you can see in front of you in the present moment, what you can hear and what are all of the things in the real world that you can pay attention to.

    All I had to do were the first three steps, and my anxiety was gone. Guess if the anxiety was performance-related, doing all seven steps would have worked better.

    The book is full of hard and fast little exercises, and they really are fabulous in that you don't have to read paragraphs and paragraphs, trying to glean what it is you're supposed to be doing. It's like a little recipe book of mental tricks and mind games presented in a very user-friendly format. Highly recommended!!!