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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire (20th Anniversary Edition) Paperback – February 1, 2017

4.7 out of 5 stars 14,625 ratings

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Though much has changed in society since the first publication of The Way of the Superior Man, men of all ages still “tussle with the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire.” Including an all-new preface by author David Deida, this 20th-anniversary edition of the classic guide to male spirituality offers the next generation the opportunity to cultivate trust in the moment and put forth the best versions of themselves in an ever-changing world.
In
The Way of the Superior Man, Deida explores the most important issues in men’s lives―from career and family to women and intimacy to love and spirituality―to offer a practical guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. Join this bestselling author and internationally renowned expert on sexual spirituality for straightforward advice, empowering skills, body practices, and more to help you realize a life of fulfillment, immediately and without compromise.

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Editorial Reviews

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“The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. Step up to the plate with this book in your hand.” ―Tony Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power

“David Deida must have the biggest balls in contemporary spirituality.” ―Vijay Rana, Watkins Mind Body Spirit

“As a woman, I’ve never felt so understood and validated.” ―Marci Shimoff, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

“The openness, the love! What lively new language David Deida finds for the unsayable!” ―Coleman Barks, author of The Essential Rumi

“Every once in a while, someone comes along whose work is clearly a next step. Their ideas seem to answer some collective question hanging out in the culture. Their books and seminars become an underground buzz and, within a period of time, their ideas become part of our cultural vernacular. David Deida is such a person. In a time not too far off from now, his ideas will have spread like wildfire.” ―Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love

“Finally, a guide for the non-castrated male. This book will offend and infuriate some, inspire and test others, but challenge virtually everybody. Few are the books that discuss strong sexuality within strong spirituality. Love it or loathe it, it is a shout from the heart of one perspective of the eternal masculine.” ―Ken Wilber, author of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality; No Boundary; and Grace and Grit

“There are few categories I know of for an original like David Deida; for his teachings there is no pigeonhole. He is a bridge-builder between East and West, between ancient and modern wisdom traditions. David is in the dynamic living oral tradition of maverick spiritual teachers who, like free-jazz musicians, can riff directly on Reality, outside of established forms. Mark my words: in a future that I hope is not too far off, David Deida’s original western Dharma will be widely known as one of the most sublime and accessible expressions of the essence of spiritual practice that is freely offered today.” ―Lama Surya Das, author of Awakening the Buddha Within

“David Deida’s work reveals a depth of loving the human condition and understanding its immanent spirituality I’ve seldom seen, even in a glimmer. It’s hard for me to find words with which to express my appreciation and admiration for this unique gift.” ―Jenny Wade, PhD, author of Changes of Mind

“David Deida brings spirituality down from the clouds and back into our bodies where it belongs. His no-nonsense approach to refining our spiritual sensibilities comes as a welcome intervention to both New Age and conservative trends in contemporary spirituality. Deida helps us to get REAL in a world where reality is an increasingly rare commodity.” ―Mariana Caplan, author of Halfway Up the Mountain: The Error of Premature Claims to Enlightenment

“I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me.” ―Miranda Shaw, PhD, author of Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism

“The Way of the Superior Man is a bold and challenging and very perceptive book. The cutting-edge masculinity of these pages is sexually strong and spiritually clear . . . Deida challenges and instructs men to live on their edge, to go forth uncompromisingly in search of their own deepest truths and greatest purpose. He pulls no punches and brooks no weakness.” ―NAPRA Review

“With uncommon honesty and unparalleled insight into the deepest desires of the masculine heart, Deida explores the most challenging and important issues in men’s lives. Covering everything from work and career, to dealing with sex, women, and love, to finding purpose in an increasingly superficial and mechanical world, The Way of the Superior Man reveals how a man can live a life of fulfillment without compromise by relaxing into the truth of his very being, discovering his deepest vision, and giving his gifts without holding anything back. What emerges is a wholly revolutionary look at what it means to be a man in today’s world as well as an astonishingly practical guidebook to living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom.” ―The Midwest Book Review, Reviewer’s Choice

About the Author

David Deida
Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative teachers of our time, bestselling author 
David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His ten books are published in more than 30 languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses. His workshops on a radically practical spirituality have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to the field of self-development currently available.

David Deida has been included in The Watkins Review Spiritual 100 List, designating the most spiritually influential people worldwide. He is a founding member of Integral Institute, and has taught and conducted research at the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine, University of California-Santa Cruz, San Jose State University, Lexington Institute in Boston, and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France. Some of his books include Blue TruthThe Enlightened Sex Manual, and the 20th Anniversary Edition of the international bestseller, The Way of the Superior Man.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Sounds True; Reprint edition (February 1, 2017)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1622038320
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1622038329
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 5 years and up
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 0.75 x 6.02 x 8.98 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 14,625 ratings

About the author

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David Deida
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Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative teachers of our time, bestselling author David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His ten books are published in more than twenty-five languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses. His workshops on a radically practical spirituality have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to the field of self-development currently available. Deida is included in the Watkins Review Spiritual 100 List, designating the most spiritually influential people worldwide. He is a founding member of Integral Institute, and has taught and conducted research at the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine, University of California-Santa Cruz, San Jose State University, Lexington Institute in Boston, and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France. Some of his recent books include Blue Truth, The Enlightened Sex Manual, and the 20th Anniversary Edition of the international bestseller, The Way of the Superior Man.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
14,625 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers consider this book a must-read for every man, praising its readability and profound impact on their lives. Moreover, the book provides valuable insights into masculine and feminine traits, and customers find it honest and worth the investment. However, the writing quality receives mixed reviews, with some finding it clearly articulated while others find it simplistic. Additionally, the pacing receives criticism for being nonsensical and weird.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

516 customers mention "Readability"484 positive32 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, praising its engaging prose and noting it's a must-read for every man. One customer mentions it is straight to the point, while another appreciates that it can be read without shame.

"...before but Neva tried the outcome this book is suggesting...best book i ever read changed my life and put me ona path to my inner core wit the..." Read more

"...Why did I choose this rating? - Because it is a great read and the information presented is always concise with the intro of each chapter...." Read more

"One of my top three books! Truly invested. Heard about it in a Nipsey Hustle interview, recommended by Lauren London...." Read more

"...of having taken ecstasy simply by engaging your partner is well worth the discipline, or maintain full body orgasms for 30 minutes, 4 times a day is..." Read more

414 customers mention "Insight"380 positive34 negative

Customers find the book provides invaluable insight, breaking everything down to a spiritual level and having a profound impact on their lives.

"...i have Neva heard before dat was the unique part of the book its new info and the info was all true and facts and things i've experienced before but..." Read more

"...This insight can lead to a deeper level of connection and communication in relationships, fostering a more fulfilling and passionate connection...." Read more

"...tricks or strategies to get laid but more of a deep foundation to prosper in your marriage, relationship or relationships...." Read more

"...Deida’s guidance on embracing challenges, understanding your true purpose, and engaging with the world from a place of strength is both inspiring..." Read more

199 customers mention "Masculinity"170 positive29 negative

Customers appreciate the book's exploration of masculine and feminine traits and energy, and how they relate to relationships with women.

"...and put me ona path to my inner core wit the conscious knowledge of feminine and masculine polarity" Read more

"...Intended for men, but has many gems for a women’s perspective as well!" Read more

"...Deida offers a fresh and nuanced understanding of sexual dynamics, inviting women to explore their own desires and better understand the desires of..." Read more

"...The masculine energy is defined by traits, the feminine energy is defined by traits, and the polarity between the two creates a balance in which the..." Read more

26 customers mention "Power"23 positive3 negative

Customers find the book powerful, working well for them, with one customer noting its practical application in real-world situations.

"...This path is a hard one, but it is real and it is powerful...." Read more

"...on how to channel your masculine energy in a way that is both powerful and compassionate are eye-opening...." Read more

"...way, I found this book to be truly wise on the topics of women, and success, among other less controversial topics, as read by a man." Read more

"Was ok. I would only read if you’re a strong critical thinker. Some of the stuff in this book is very strange...." Read more

18 customers mention "Authenticity"18 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's authenticity, describing it as honest and resonating with truth, with one customer noting it's not a pick-up book.

"...the unique part of the book its new info and the info was all true and facts and things i've experienced before but Neva tried the outcome this book..." Read more

"...It is not a literal book at least most of it is not...." Read more

"...It's more than a book; it's a companion that resonates with authenticity and truth...." Read more

"...It's a timeless guide for personal growth and authentic living, offering a unique perspective that transcends gender boundaries...." Read more

17 customers mention "Value for money"14 positive3 negative

Customers find the book worth its price.

"...It teaches you how to be a high value man to conquer the world.!!!" Read more

"Product was perfect and price was reasonable" Read more

"...Don’t be skeptical. Buy it, read it, change. It’s worth it. It’s the guide I knew I needed. I didn’t think I’d find it in this book but I did...." Read more

"...It’s one that I plan to reference. It’s worth the buy, even if it is a blind buy." Read more

110 customers mention "Writing quality"67 positive43 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the writing quality of the book, with some finding it clearly written and easy to understand, while others find it too simplistic and frustrating to read.

"...Because it is a great read and the information presented is always concise with the intro of each chapter...." Read more

"...of applying the concepts described in this book, and the book does not describe in detail exactly how to do that, and rightfully so, because such..." Read more

"...The writing style is straightforward but poetic, making complex ideas accessible...." Read more

"...The book is written in a clear, concise and engaging style that synthesizes complex knowledge in a form accessible to lay readers...." Read more

65 customers mention "Pacing"15 positive50 negative

Customers find the book's pacing negative, describing it as nonsensical and full of weird made-up advice.

"...obvious, egotistical, arrogant, self-aggrandizing, self-important, nonsensical, idiotic, stupid, and a book that is written strictly from an..." Read more

"...is sometimes called "poetic," which is a nice way of saying that he's cheesy, vague, and likes to spout trite New Age cliches as if they were..." Read more

"The contents of this book are not always politically-correct or scientifically validated. It doesn't pretend to be either...." Read more

"...apparent that the woman's role in being absolutely vulnerable, carefree, and not defaulting to their own masculine mind due to a lack of trust in..." Read more

Life changing advice for a few bucks
5 out of 5 stars
Life changing advice for a few bucks
If your trying to change your life whether it be for minor things or a complete 180. This book will teach you many things and make you believe in yourself.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on April 5, 2025
    the information this book provided i have Neva heard before dat was the unique part of the book its new info and the info was all true and facts and things i've experienced before but Neva tried the outcome this book is suggesting...best book i ever read changed my life and put me ona path to my inner core wit the conscious knowledge of feminine and masculine polarity
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 7, 2024
    What did I like or dislike?
    - I liked that it took into account that the difference of man and woman is something to be cherished and that we actually need each other to live a fulfilling life.
    That it is important to understand how you can achieve a state flow of your being when you accept the nature of the sexes.

    Maybe I disliked sometimes the wording that was chosen, but that is personal preference, I am not a big fan of very esoteric things, and for that part it is very raw to real life examples only sometimes lashed into words that can be hard to equate to some meaningful lesson.

    Whom would I recommend this book to?
    - To any Men who feel like they are out of touch with their purpose and have had bad experiences with women, it will teach you why it is your task to have a fulfilling relationship with your opposite.

    Why did I choose this rating?
    - Because it is a great read and the information presented is always concise with the intro of each chapter. There lies some true wisdom here which you only get from a lot of practice in sex, love and relationships that is very condensed here.
    10 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2025
    One of my top three books! Truly invested. Heard about it in a Nipsey Hustle interview, recommended by Lauren London. Intended for men, but has many gems for a women’s perspective as well!
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2023
    As a woman who has read and explored David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man, I found it to be an incredibly eye-opening and insightful book. While it is primarily written for men, it offers invaluable lessons and a deeper understanding of masculine growth and development, making it a valuable read for women as well.

    Deida's exploration of masculine-feminine dynamics is particularly noteworthy. He sheds light on the unique challenges and struggles men face in their journey towards self-discovery and authenticity. By delving into these topics, he provides women with a profound understanding of the masculine experience, fostering empathy, compassion, and a deeper connection with the men in our lives.

    The book encourages women to embrace and honor the qualities of the masculine, recognizing its importance and inherent value in relationships and personal growth. It promotes an appreciation for the dynamic interplay between masculine and feminine energies, emphasizing the power of polarity and the potential for a harmonious and fulfilling partnership.

    Furthermore, The Way of the Superior Man explores the complexities of sexuality and intimacy from a masculine perspective. Deida offers a fresh and nuanced understanding of sexual dynamics, inviting women to explore their own desires and better understand the desires of their male partners. This insight can lead to a deeper level of connection and communication in relationships, fostering a more fulfilling and passionate connection.

    While it may be tempting to label The Way of the Superior Man as solely focused on men, it is crucial to recognize that the book aims to foster growth and understanding in both genders. By gaining insight into the challenges and aspirations of men, women can contribute to a more supportive and compassionate environment for personal growth and self-discovery.

    In summary, The Way of the Superior Man offers women a unique opportunity to gain profound insights into the masculine journey. It provides a deeper understanding of masculine-feminine dynamics, sexuality, and personal growth, fostering empathy, connection, and personal development. I highly recommend this book to any woman seeking to deepen her understanding of the men in her life and enhance her own personal growth journey.
    75 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2011
    I am giving this book 4 stars. For myself, it is a 5 star book, but for men seeking enlightenment on the subject of women and relationships, do not expect to find "answers" here. The answers are in the practice of applying the concepts described in this book, and the book does not describe in detail exactly how to do that, and rightfully so, because such techniques cannot be taught in the pages of a book, they must be experienced first hand.

    Deida's work resides entirely within the concepts of polarity and energetics. These are things that are currently unmeasurable by scientific instruments, just as DNA and subatomic particles were not so long ago. If you are looking for clear cut scientific "facts" on the subject of men and women, then look elsewhere because you won't find them here. Deida's work is based on truths that you won't find in science for years to come, but if you do not require "scientific facts", and you are simply wise enough to look and feel inside yourself for what is true and what is not, Deida speaks more truth on the subject of men and women, relationships, polarity and love than any sect of Tantra, Yoga or any individual doctor, sex therapist, or pick up artist out there.

    When Deida talks about the feminine and masculine, he is purely talking about energy, NOT the physical body of a man or woman. The masculine energy is defined by traits, the feminine energy is defined by traits, and the polarity between the two creates a balance in which the entire universe sympathetically operates.

    If the Big Bang is the purest form of the feminine essence, than gravity, dark matter, dark energy, and black holes would be the purest form of the masculine essence. This relationship, the ying and the yang, the duality of the universe, has been present from the beginning of time, and is found in everything, especially within ourselves and our partners. Deida's work is to define these polarities so a man and a woman can simply recognize them for what they are and work with them as they wish. His work does provide solutions to create a definitive balance between the two, and these solutions are simply tools to keep your relationship absolutely delicious.

    Being a man myself, I was initially resentful of the fact that in Deida's eyes, men are required to do all of the "work" in the relationship, while the woman expand into chaos. But when you truly understand the work and the teachings Deida is talking about, it becomes apparent that the woman's role in being absolutely vulnerable, carefree, and not defaulting to their own masculine mind due to a lack of trust in their man is equally as hard, if not harder than what the masculine is required to do.

    A woman can easily assume the role of the masculine energy, while the man assumes the feminine. It's actually very common in Western Culture today. As long as the polarity exists, the relationship will always be delicious, despite the ups and downs; it just requires hard work and daily practice from both partners to achieve it.

    My girlfriend and I have been practicing Deida's work for a year. It's insane. The ability to literally recreate the feeling of having taken ecstasy simply by engaging your partner is well worth the discipline, or maintain full body orgasms for 30 minutes, 4 times a day isn't bad either.

    And what does it all add up to? Well, nothing. It's simply all for the sake of creating art through love while we're here. It's to be of service to others, to give our greatest gift, to experience love on a level very few people in their entire life will ever experience, and to die. There are no secrets to life buried in this book. You practice and serve your relationship, simply to experience love like it has never been experienced before.

    This book is not a quick fix. You don't just read it and have all the answers. Honestly, if you read this book and try to apply some of the advice given, you will probably apply it incorrectly and it won't work because you will be missing the energetics involved. There is a teaching that needs to coincide with these words, that unless you seek those teachings and put them into practice, you won't find all that much value here besides an interesting read and possibly a doorway into a new kind of life style.

    This path is a hard one, but it is real and it is powerful. Women will find themselves insanely attracted to you and often times, might not entirely know why. It usually starts with men breathing properly, standing properly, and keeping their mouths shut.

    If you're willing to learn and actually apply the concepts in this book, and seek out the teachings that go with it, you will find fulfillment in your life and your relationship that transcends everything.

    Since getting involved in Deida's work, my girlfriend and I have dedicated every waking moment to it, and we have not looked back since.
    115 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Callum
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
    Reviewed in Australia on September 2, 2024
    I wish I read this book sooner, lots to learn and take on as a male trying to understand everything in a woman (if that’s possible). Will be a book I read again to really imbed it in the brain.
  • Syahmim
    5.0 out of 5 stars A different outlook
    Reviewed in Singapore on May 4, 2024
    It provides a look into different aspects of life. It encourages men to view challenges and resistances as opportunities for personal development and to understand our relationships.
  • Mahmoud
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good
    Reviewed in the United Arab Emirates on February 17, 2025
    Good
  • Lumendeus
    5.0 out of 5 stars One of the greatest books in the world
    Reviewed in Sweden on May 6, 2022
    Just buy it already.
  • Aman Kumar
    5.0 out of 5 stars Must read book
    Reviewed in India on January 9, 2025
    This contains high value knowledge of being man this will teach you how to become man