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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire (20th Anniversary Edition) Paperback – February 1, 2017

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 14,310 ratings

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Though much has changed in society since the first publication of The Way of the Superior Man, men of all ages still “tussle with the challenges of women, work, and sexual desire.” Including an all-new preface by author David Deida, this 20th-anniversary edition of the classic guide to male spirituality offers the next generation the opportunity to cultivate trust in the moment and put forth the best versions of themselves in an ever-changing world.
In
The Way of the Superior Man, Deida explores the most important issues in men’s lives―from career and family to women and intimacy to love and spirituality―to offer a practical guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. Join this bestselling author and internationally renowned expert on sexual spirituality for straightforward advice, empowering skills, body practices, and more to help you realize a life of fulfillment, immediately and without compromise.

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Editorial Reviews

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“The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. Step up to the plate with this book in your hand.” ―Tony Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power

“David Deida must have the biggest balls in contemporary spirituality.” ―Vijay Rana, Watkins Mind Body Spirit

“As a woman, I’ve never felt so understood and validated.” ―Marci Shimoff, coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

“The openness, the love! What lively new language David Deida finds for the unsayable!” ―Coleman Barks, author of The Essential Rumi

“Every once in a while, someone comes along whose work is clearly a next step. Their ideas seem to answer some collective question hanging out in the culture. Their books and seminars become an underground buzz and, within a period of time, their ideas become part of our cultural vernacular. David Deida is such a person. In a time not too far off from now, his ideas will have spread like wildfire.” ―Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love

“Finally, a guide for the non-castrated male. This book will offend and infuriate some, inspire and test others, but challenge virtually everybody. Few are the books that discuss strong sexuality within strong spirituality. Love it or loathe it, it is a shout from the heart of one perspective of the eternal masculine.” ―Ken Wilber, author of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality; No Boundary; and Grace and Grit

“There are few categories I know of for an original like David Deida; for his teachings there is no pigeonhole. He is a bridge-builder between East and West, between ancient and modern wisdom traditions. David is in the dynamic living oral tradition of maverick spiritual teachers who, like free-jazz musicians, can riff directly on Reality, outside of established forms. Mark my words: in a future that I hope is not too far off, David Deida’s original western Dharma will be widely known as one of the most sublime and accessible expressions of the essence of spiritual practice that is freely offered today.” ―Lama Surya Das, author of Awakening the Buddha Within

“David Deida’s work reveals a depth of loving the human condition and understanding its immanent spirituality I’ve seldom seen, even in a glimmer. It’s hard for me to find words with which to express my appreciation and admiration for this unique gift.” ―Jenny Wade, PhD, author of Changes of Mind

“David Deida brings spirituality down from the clouds and back into our bodies where it belongs. His no-nonsense approach to refining our spiritual sensibilities comes as a welcome intervention to both New Age and conservative trends in contemporary spirituality. Deida helps us to get REAL in a world where reality is an increasingly rare commodity.” ―Mariana Caplan, author of Halfway Up the Mountain: The Error of Premature Claims to Enlightenment

“I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me.” ―Miranda Shaw, PhD, author of Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism

“The Way of the Superior Man is a bold and challenging and very perceptive book. The cutting-edge masculinity of these pages is sexually strong and spiritually clear . . . Deida challenges and instructs men to live on their edge, to go forth uncompromisingly in search of their own deepest truths and greatest purpose. He pulls no punches and brooks no weakness.” ―NAPRA Review

“With uncommon honesty and unparalleled insight into the deepest desires of the masculine heart, Deida explores the most challenging and important issues in men’s lives. Covering everything from work and career, to dealing with sex, women, and love, to finding purpose in an increasingly superficial and mechanical world, The Way of the Superior Man reveals how a man can live a life of fulfillment without compromise by relaxing into the truth of his very being, discovering his deepest vision, and giving his gifts without holding anything back. What emerges is a wholly revolutionary look at what it means to be a man in today’s world as well as an astonishingly practical guidebook to living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom.” ―The Midwest Book Review, Reviewer’s Choice

About the Author

David Deida
Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative teachers of our time, bestselling author 
David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His ten books are published in more than 30 languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses. His workshops on a radically practical spirituality have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to the field of self-development currently available.

David Deida has been included in The Watkins Review Spiritual 100 List, designating the most spiritually influential people worldwide. He is a founding member of Integral Institute, and has taught and conducted research at the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine, University of California-Santa Cruz, San Jose State University, Lexington Institute in Boston, and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France. Some of his books include Blue TruthThe Enlightened Sex Manual, and the 20th Anniversary Edition of the international bestseller, The Way of the Superior Man.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Sounds True; Reprint edition (February 1, 2017)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1622038320
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1622038329
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 5 years and up
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 0.75 x 6.02 x 8.98 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 14,310 ratings

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David Deida
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Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative teachers of our time, bestselling author David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His ten books are published in more than twenty-five languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses. His workshops on a radically practical spirituality have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to the field of self-development currently available. Deida is included in the Watkins Review Spiritual 100 List, designating the most spiritually influential people worldwide. He is a founding member of Integral Institute, and has taught and conducted research at the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine, University of California-Santa Cruz, San Jose State University, Lexington Institute in Boston, and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France. Some of his recent books include Blue Truth, The Enlightened Sex Manual, and the 20th Anniversary Edition of the international bestseller, The Way of the Superior Man.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
14,310 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They appreciate the profound insights and spiritual understanding it provides. The book offers helpful guidance on relationships and intimacy. Many describe it as powerful and a great guide for modern men. Readers appreciate the concise, to-the-point style and authenticity. However, some feel the pacing is inconsistent and nonsensical.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

570 customers mention "Readability"525 positive45 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and digest. They find it a valuable guide for men. The writing style is clear and concise, making it an excellent resource.

"...Why did I choose this rating? - Because it is a great read and the information presented is always concise with the intro of each chapter...." Read more

"...Must read for all men!" Read more

"...aspects of the book is its emphasis on the balance between masculine and feminine energies...." Read more

"...The book encourages women to embrace and honor the qualities of the masculine, recognizing its importance and inherent value in relationships and..." Read more

419 customers mention "Insight"385 positive34 negative

Customers find the book insightful and helpful. It provides spiritual guidance on embracing challenges, understanding one's true purpose, and engaging with the world. Readers appreciate the advice, anecdotes, and analogies in the guide. Many say it has helped them evaluate themselves and their relationships.

"...book is so necessary for the modern man today and help me through hard times in my marriage and turn ultimately know what my vision is and pursue..." Read more

"...Deida’s guidance on embracing challenges, understanding your true purpose, and engaging with the world from a place of strength is both inspiring..." Read more

"...This insight can lead to a deeper level of connection and communication in relationships, fostering a more fulfilling and passionate connection...." Read more

"...The masculine energy is defined by traits, the feminine energy is defined by traits, and the polarity between the two creates a balance in which the..." Read more

49 customers mention "Relationship"44 positive5 negative

Customers find the book helpful for finding and keeping true love in their lives. They appreciate its insights on intimacy, parenting, romantic relationships, and overall life perspective. The book helps them reclaim their power in relationships and transform their relationships with partners.

"...Deida offers a fresh and nuanced understanding of sexual dynamics, inviting women to explore their own desires and better understand the desires of..." Read more

"...an in-depth look at many challenges men face on a daily basis--keeping a woman happy , finding fulfillment and purpose in a career, becoming a..." Read more

"...David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man" has become a cherished companion, offering profound insights that extend far beyond the realm of..." Read more

"...A core that is full of strength, courage & an unstoppable love for everyone. &#..." Read more

26 customers mention "Power"23 positive3 negative

Customers find the book helpful. They say it provides powerful insights and helps them reach their full potential. The book is consistent in its use, making readers feel powerful and free.

"...on how to channel your masculine energy in a way that is both powerful and compassionate are eye-opening...." Read more

"...This path is a hard one, but it is real and it is powerful...." Read more

"...way, I found this book to be truly wise on the topics of women, and success, among other less controversial topics, as read by a man." Read more

"Was ok. I would only read if you’re a strong critical thinker. Some of the stuff in this book is very strange...." Read more

19 customers mention "Ease of read"19 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and understand. They appreciate the relatable examples and concise writing style. The book is accessible and helpful, providing practical advice that readers can apply immediately.

"...The chapters are quick, making it(mostly) a breeze to read through in one sitting and the advice will certainly give you some solid theories about..." Read more

"...It covers aspects of being man in a very creative and easy to understand way! 10/10" Read more

"...have helped me navigate the challenges of modern masculinity with greater ease and authenticity...." Read more

"...You can open the book to any page/chapter and read it in a few moments. Doesn't need to be read in chronological order...." Read more

17 customers mention "Authenticity"17 positive0 negative

Customers find the book honest and genuine. They appreciate its straightforward approach that encourages authenticity and personal growth. However, some readers feel the content is not straightforward or easy to read.

"...It is not a literal book at least most of it is not...." Read more

"...It's more than a book; it's a companion that resonates with authenticity and truth...." Read more

"...This book is just something else. Recommend for all men before marriage. Open minded men only though. Not for big egos." Read more

"...It's a timeless guide for personal growth and authentic living, offering a unique perspective that transcends gender boundaries...." Read more

108 customers mention "Writing quality"64 positive44 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the writing quality. Some find it clear and easy to understand, with frank language. Others feel the book is simplistic and one-dimensional, making it hard for beginners to understand. The writing gets repetitive quickly.

"...Because it is a great read and the information presented is always concise with the intro of each chapter...." Read more

"...of applying the concepts described in this book, and the book does not describe in detail exactly how to do that, and rightfully so, because such..." Read more

"...The writing style is straightforward but poetic, making complex ideas accessible...." Read more

"Super descriptive teaches you more than just to be an alpha male that are good with women...." Read more

62 customers mention "Pacing"15 positive47 negative

Customers find the book's pacing inconsistent. They find the advice counterintuitive, repetitive, and strange at times. Some readers describe the book as dogmatic and lacking exercises to practice.

"...obvious, egotistical, arrogant, self-aggrandizing, self-important, nonsensical, idiotic, stupid, and a book that is written strictly from an..." Read more

"...is sometimes called "poetic," which is a nice way of saying that he's cheesy, vague, and likes to spout trite New Age cliches as if they were..." Read more

"The contents of this book are not always politically-correct or scientifically validated. It doesn't pretend to be either...." Read more

"...apparent that the woman's role in being absolutely vulnerable, carefree, and not defaulting to their own masculine mind due to a lack of trust in..." Read more

This is a Guide to Ascending to inner self
4 out of 5 stars
This is a Guide to Ascending to inner self
This like most self help or religious text is a guide filled with advice anecdotes ,and analogies that go into the life and mind of the modern man . Though the text needs to be updated because some chapters like nine “do it for love “can be misconstrued, and seen as toxic even. The specific advice on this chapter should be taken with great caution. “ especially those that are aware of their addiction to fun times for adults “ one should always be aware and clearing and cleansing one’s aura/energy / chi after any intimate encounter. All in all they are saying with every intimate moment make sure that in taking part in that moment do it with an open heart and open mind.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on December 7, 2024
    What did I like or dislike?
    - I liked that it took into account that the difference of man and woman is something to be cherished and that we actually need each other to live a fulfilling life.
    That it is important to understand how you can achieve a state flow of your being when you accept the nature of the sexes.

    Maybe I disliked sometimes the wording that was chosen, but that is personal preference, I am not a big fan of very esoteric things, and for that part it is very raw to real life examples only sometimes lashed into words that can be hard to equate to some meaningful lesson.

    Whom would I recommend this book to?
    - To any Men who feel like they are out of touch with their purpose and have had bad experiences with women, it will teach you why it is your task to have a fulfilling relationship with your opposite.

    Why did I choose this rating?
    - Because it is a great read and the information presented is always concise with the intro of each chapter. There lies some true wisdom here which you only get from a lot of practice in sex, love and relationships that is very condensed here.
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2025
    This book is so necessary for the modern man today and help me through hard times in my marriage and turn ultimately know what my vision is and pursue with all of me. It also don't need to embrace suffering and to love through my fear and insecurity. Must read for all men!
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2024
    One of the most impactful aspects of the book is its emphasis on the balance between masculine and feminine energies. Deida eloquently discusses how these forces interact in relationships, work, and personal growth. His insights on how to channel your masculine energy in a way that is both powerful and compassionate are eye-opening. The advice goes beyond surface-level tips and delves into the deeper aspects of consciousness and spirituality.

    The writing style is straightforward but poetic, making complex ideas accessible. Deida’s guidance on embracing challenges, understanding your true purpose, and engaging with the world from a place of strength is both inspiring and practical. This isn’t just a book about being a “better man” in the traditional sense—it’s about understanding and mastering yourself to contribute more meaningfully to the world around you.

    Some readers may find certain ideas a bit esoteric or unconventional, but that’s part of what makes this book so unique. It’s not just about self-improvement; it’s about self-discovery on a deeper level. Whether you’re looking to improve your relationships, find your purpose, or simply understand yourself better, The Way of the Superior Man offers timeless wisdom that can benefit men of all ages.

    This book is a must-read for anyone on a journey to becoming the best version of themselves, not just as a man, but as a human being. Highly recommended!
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2025
    Brand new, very well packaged and delivered on time.
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2011
    I am giving this book 4 stars. For myself, it is a 5 star book, but for men seeking enlightenment on the subject of women and relationships, do not expect to find "answers" here. The answers are in the practice of applying the concepts described in this book, and the book does not describe in detail exactly how to do that, and rightfully so, because such techniques cannot be taught in the pages of a book, they must be experienced first hand.

    Deida's work resides entirely within the concepts of polarity and energetics. These are things that are currently unmeasurable by scientific instruments, just as DNA and subatomic particles were not so long ago. If you are looking for clear cut scientific "facts" on the subject of men and women, then look elsewhere because you won't find them here. Deida's work is based on truths that you won't find in science for years to come, but if you do not require "scientific facts", and you are simply wise enough to look and feel inside yourself for what is true and what is not, Deida speaks more truth on the subject of men and women, relationships, polarity and love than any sect of Tantra, Yoga or any individual doctor, sex therapist, or pick up artist out there.

    When Deida talks about the feminine and masculine, he is purely talking about energy, NOT the physical body of a man or woman. The masculine energy is defined by traits, the feminine energy is defined by traits, and the polarity between the two creates a balance in which the entire universe sympathetically operates.

    If the Big Bang is the purest form of the feminine essence, than gravity, dark matter, dark energy, and black holes would be the purest form of the masculine essence. This relationship, the ying and the yang, the duality of the universe, has been present from the beginning of time, and is found in everything, especially within ourselves and our partners. Deida's work is to define these polarities so a man and a woman can simply recognize them for what they are and work with them as they wish. His work does provide solutions to create a definitive balance between the two, and these solutions are simply tools to keep your relationship absolutely delicious.

    Being a man myself, I was initially resentful of the fact that in Deida's eyes, men are required to do all of the "work" in the relationship, while the woman expand into chaos. But when you truly understand the work and the teachings Deida is talking about, it becomes apparent that the woman's role in being absolutely vulnerable, carefree, and not defaulting to their own masculine mind due to a lack of trust in their man is equally as hard, if not harder than what the masculine is required to do.

    A woman can easily assume the role of the masculine energy, while the man assumes the feminine. It's actually very common in Western Culture today. As long as the polarity exists, the relationship will always be delicious, despite the ups and downs; it just requires hard work and daily practice from both partners to achieve it.

    My girlfriend and I have been practicing Deida's work for a year. It's insane. The ability to literally recreate the feeling of having taken ecstasy simply by engaging your partner is well worth the discipline, or maintain full body orgasms for 30 minutes, 4 times a day isn't bad either.

    And what does it all add up to? Well, nothing. It's simply all for the sake of creating art through love while we're here. It's to be of service to others, to give our greatest gift, to experience love on a level very few people in their entire life will ever experience, and to die. There are no secrets to life buried in this book. You practice and serve your relationship, simply to experience love like it has never been experienced before.

    This book is not a quick fix. You don't just read it and have all the answers. Honestly, if you read this book and try to apply some of the advice given, you will probably apply it incorrectly and it won't work because you will be missing the energetics involved. There is a teaching that needs to coincide with these words, that unless you seek those teachings and put them into practice, you won't find all that much value here besides an interesting read and possibly a doorway into a new kind of life style.

    This path is a hard one, but it is real and it is powerful. Women will find themselves insanely attracted to you and often times, might not entirely know why. It usually starts with men breathing properly, standing properly, and keeping their mouths shut.

    If you're willing to learn and actually apply the concepts in this book, and seek out the teachings that go with it, you will find fulfillment in your life and your relationship that transcends everything.

    Since getting involved in Deida's work, my girlfriend and I have dedicated every waking moment to it, and we have not looked back since.
    105 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 17, 2024
    I have been on a growth journey all my life. I had an absent father whom made fun of my 1st wet dream along with my uncle. No one taught me a bout sex let alone a spiritual journey. I was struggling with my masculinity. I have been on a spiritual path for over a year which gave me the growth, capacity, and maturity leading me to understanding this is leveling up and clearly lays out the ground work for honoring our masculinity. I will use this book as a reference to guide me through my relationship with my spouse to honor her feminine energy while understanding wholly my masculine energy and understand there is nothing in this world that compares to the power of a man’s masculinity and we should own it and use it to give this gift to the world and our mate.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2025
    Product was perfect and price was reasonable
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2025
    Recommend everyone read it

Top reviews from other countries

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  • Uriel
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente libro
    Reviewed in Mexico on November 28, 2024
    Gran recomendación , gran libro , fácil lectura , directo, interesante, aplicable , lo recomiendo
  • Puparu
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all men who are serious about living in the masculine
    Reviewed in Canada on October 8, 2024
    Deep, insightful like all other books by David Deida. I read the book 3 times and every time I got new insights, new realizations, new ways to interpret the information, but the third time I really felt I had my best AHA! moment. Truly inspirational.
  • Cliente Kindle
    5.0 out of 5 stars Mandatory read
    Reviewed in Brazil on January 13, 2022
    If you are a person with more masculine energy, you need this book. Just take the time to think of how you will apply its lessons in your daily life, though
  • Mahmoud
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good
    Reviewed in the United Arab Emirates on February 17, 2025
    Good
  • Alex
    5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for men and women
    Reviewed in Germany on February 10, 2025
    One of the best books I've ever read. It brings your mentality to an absolutely new level.
    Today with the rise of whatever it is, true masculinity and femininity are being forgotten...

    Every man in the West has to own a copy of this. Truly lifechanging!