If you don’t do the inner work, your limiting beliefs will control every decision that you make in life.
A lot of people shy away from inner work, for fear that facing it, will be painful.
Growth can be difficult, but it can also be transformative. Research shows that many people report psychological growth as a result of experiencing highly stressful events.
Now is the time to release yourself from the past, recondition old belief patterns, and re-write your story. Are you ready to learn 3 ways that you can transform your negative self-talk?
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Inner work sounds daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.
It’s all a matter of perspective. We all know how powerful beliefs can be. The mind believes what it wants to believe. If you think that inner work is hard, that’s exactly what it will be. However, if you are able to reframe your experience and view self-growth as an opportunity to become a better version of yourself, the game changes. As Tony Robbins says, “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.”
Don’t get me wrong… inner work will challenge you to your core. The process will force you to go inward and look at yourself and your life in unfamiliar ways. If you aren’t willing to drop your ego, be vulnerable, and face your fears, there will be resistance. However, if you can open yourself to the experience, you will set yourself up for a massive internal win.
I always say that anything of value is hard work. On the other side of inner work is purposeful living and it feels damn good. There is nothing more rewarding than stepping into your power and finally living in alignment with your true self.
How do I know? I’ve been on both sides of the coin.
When I was younger, I was a shadow of my true self. I was a shy, anxious, depressed kid. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly living the high life. Studies have linked negative self-talk with higher levels of stress, lower levels of self-esteem, and depression. I can relate to these toxic effects.
My negative self-talk was like a bad song that I played on repeat in my head. It’s fair to say that the image I held of myself was below average. One day, I looked myself dead in the mirror and I said, “Never again will I allow myself to feel less than.” I knew that the only person that was going to change me, was me. In short, I hit my emotional threshold.
I was tired of playing small, so I made the decision that I would no longer stay stuck in one place. Living each day as if I was merely surviving didn't feel good. I was ready to thrive. The core of my inner work revolved around my beliefs about who I was. My journey from feeling like a nobody to being a somebody has had its fair share of highs and lows. However, what I have learned about myself throughout the process has been life-changing.
To this day, I continue to learn and grow because life is always changing and so am I.
I’m not perfect. I still experience moments when I feel down or experience self-doubt. However, because I have conditioned my mental muscle on a daily basis, I am now able to shift my state, almost instantly, from one that is disempowering to empowering. This is how I have overcome my shyness and social anxiety. One thing that I know for sure is that doing the inner work is the only thing that has allowed me to become the person that I am today.
I want to share with you 3 ways that you can transform your negative self-talk. I have personally used these strategies in my own life and they have allowed me to create a success-oriented mindset.
1. Become Mindful of the Words You Speak
You are where you are today, in part, because of what you have been saying to yourself. If you tell yourself that you're not enough, you will act from that belief system. Your words are strongly connected to your future self. If you think negative thoughts and speak them out loud, you attract that same energy into your life.
You can't talk about how much you lack and expect to have abundance. Eventually, this negative state of mind becomes a part of your reality. This is how the Law of Attraction works. Keep in mind that, just because a negative thought pops into your mind, it doesn't mean that you have to believe it. Don't allow negative words to prevent you from becoming the person that you were destined to be.
If you want to live a positive life, you need to think positive thoughts. This starts with learning how to reprogram your mind for positive thinking. The best way to foster a more loving relationship with your inner self is by practicing positive affirmations. As you start to speak empowering words out loud to yourself, over time you start to believe these things to be true. This is how I have been able to master my psychology.
2. Reframe Your Thoughts
Have you ever wondered how some people thrive through life, while others constantly struggle? It comes down to how they interpret their life's challenges. Successful people are able to effectively reframe their experiences by replacing unhelpful thoughts with more positive and adaptive ones. You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can always transform how you feel about something.
In their book, What Went Right: Reframe Your Thinking for a Happier Now, Michael Wetter and Eileen Baley suggest that, by changing your thinking, you can unlock self-affirming feelings and actions that are needed in order to create a more empowering life story.
The next time that you find yourself spiraling into self-deprecating behaviors, stop yourself, shift your narrative, and reframe your thinking. For example, “I hate my body” can be reframed to “Yes, I may not be happy about the current state of my health, but I know that if I commit to eating healthier and going to the gym, I will get the body that I want.”
If you want to change something about your life, you've got to start by changing your beliefs first. By shifting your thoughts, you automatically put yourself into a more empowering state of mind.
3. Be A Better Best Friend To Yourself
Do you treat yourself like you would treat your best friend? A lot of people spend so much time being present for others, but they forget about themselves in the process. Instead of celebrating their wins, they beat themselves down and are overly self-critical about everything that they do.
If you can relate to these behaviors, now is the time to change the view that you have of yourself and start appreciating the amazing person that you are. The next time that you catch your inner critic getting the best of you, check-in and stop this negative voice dead in its tracks. Ask yourself, “Would I speak to ____ in this way?” If the answer is “no,” then you certainly don't deserve it.
The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself, which is why it's critical that you make it a priority to put yourself first. Being a better friend to yourself means showing yourself unconditional love and compassion. It's about learning how to love your own company. I encourage you to create a self-love ritual where you take some time every day to celebrate who you are and how far you've come.
Are your ready to start paying attention to your inner self?
Only you can begin this work. It starts with making the decision that you will no longer allow your negative self-talk to control your life. There is nothing or nobody that can give you what it is that you are seeking. Yes, inner work can be challenging, but the person that you become on the other side is well worth the journey. You will start to embody your true power and begin the process of embracing all parts of yourself.
In the words of Helen Joy Butler, “Even though this work may look and feel messy, there is so much beauty in the mess. It's incredibly liberating and life-changing if we have the courage and strength to go there.“
There is nothing that you cannot do. Do not fear the journey of self-discovery. Commit to showing up for yourself and do the work to shift your narrative. Life will take care of the rest.
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