Our Best Relationship Advice (No One Tells You This)

Tatiana and I want to give you our BEST relationship advice.

A successful relationship doesn't happen overnight. It takes commitment, patience, and the willingness to grow, together and alone.

Recently Tatiana and I asked our YouTube subscribers and Instagram followers for their top relationship questions.

Inside this blog, we answer those questions, based on our experience of being together for 7+ years.

Keep reading to discover our best advice for building a healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationship!

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

[smart_track_player url=”https://stream.redcircle.com/episodes/f10f6f3a-08f4-41dc-8af8-bb98c462694d/stream.mp3″ background=”default” ]

Do you want to witness the happiest day of my life? CLICK HERE to watch our wedding video!

This page contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product through one of them, I will receive a commission (at no additional cost to you). I only ever endorse products that I have personally used and benefitted from personally. Thank you for your support!

Great relationships take hard work.

My love for Tatiana continues to grow in the most beautiful of ways because we take the time to invest in our relationship. Below Tatiana and I share our answers to some of your questions about love and relationships.

We hope that these relationship tips help you to understand yourself and your partner on a deeper level. If you want to learn more about Tatiana and the work that she does, I highly recommend that you subscribe to her YouTube channel and follow her on Instagram.

On that note, let's dive into the questions!

How do you keep things exciting in a long-term relationship?

Just like any other aspect of your life, you have to constantly focus on your relationship. One thing that has helped Tatiana and me is the 6 human needs framework that we learned from Tony Robbins.

Tony believes that the following 6 needs drive all human behavior – certainty, uncertainty/variety, significance, connection/love, growth, and contribution. If you're focused on fulfilling and meeting your partner's needs at a high level, you're going to have an incredible relationship.

When a relationship is lacking passion and intimacy oftentimes it means that there are needs that aren't being fulfilled by one or both partners. What we love about Tony's framework is that it's an easy way to measure where you're at in your relationship.

In particular, which needs are being fulfilled and which ones aren't being fulfilled.

Tatiana and I engage in a weekly relationship ritual where we go through the 6 human needs and list on a scale of 1-10 where our needs are being met. If either of us scores below a 7 on any of the 6 human needs, we talk about how we can get that number to a level 10.

This ritual will do wonders for your relationship. It gives you an opportunity to connect with your partner on a deeper level and work ON your relationship, instead of IN it.

There are 3 levels to a relationship. The first level is all about you. This is a selfish way of relating.

The second level is when you're giving love to receive love. It's merely an exchange.

The third level is when you are striving to meet your partner's needs above your own. By contributing beyond yourself, your partner will reciprocate. As a result, both of you will get your needs met in the relationship.

A lot of couples fall into the trap of giving what they think their partner needs. Oftentimes, it's not what their partner is asking for. It's important to understand that your partner may feel and/or express each of the 6 human needs in a different way from you.

Each person feels love in a different way. This is why it's important to understand what your love language is, and what the love language of your partner is. If you have yet to read the book The 5 Love Languages, we highly recommend that you do.

The 5 love languages include acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and receiving gifts.

As part of our relationship ritual, Tatiana and I also ask one another the following questions:

How can I better meet your needs?
What is great about our relationship?
How can I better meet your love language?
What do you appreciate about me?
How can we create more love and passion in our relationship?

We also take some time to share the magic moments that we experienced throughout the week together. By reliving those memories, we are acknowledging what is working well in our relationship.

Make it your goal to figure out how you can meet and fulfill your partner's needs at the highest level. If you can do that, you'll have an amazing relationship filled with passion and excitement. Keep in mind this relationship ritual requires allocating time and attention to your relationship, in the same way that you do for your business, health, or hobbies.

In the beginning stages of dating someone, it's easy to put in the effort. Everything is new and exciting. However, in long-term relationships, people tend to get complacent. They stop making an effort to meet the needs of their partner because they feel ‘secure.'

Unfortunately, this way of thinking and behaving can lead to resentment.

From our experience, if you do what you did at the beginning of your relationship, there will never be an end.

Apart from meeting your partner's needs, it is imperative that you meet your own needs as well. Make it a priority to spend time alone. Nourish your mind, body, and spirit so that you can be at your best. This is what will allow you to be at your best in your relationship.

How can I find my soulmate?

In my early 20s, I was a dating coach. I helped men improve their confidence and social skills. The reason why I started this business is that I was extremely shy and had a hard time talking to women. That was a huge pain point in my life.

I took the time to learn about relationships and find ways to improve myself so that I could attract the woman that I desired. The first step to attracting your soulmate is getting clarity on what YOU want in a partner. If you don't know what you want, you won't know if it passes you by.

When I went through this self-reflection process, I was very specific about the type of partner I wanted to attract into my life.

I thought about what I wanted my ideal partner's physical appearance to look like, to her character traits and favorite hobbies. From the list that I created, I identified my non-negotiables.

Once you get clarity on the type of partner that you want, ask yourself the question, “Who do I need to become to attract this person into my life?” You attract what you are. Determine what the best possible version of yourself looks like and then do the inner work to become that person.

How do you deal with arguments?

Arguments ensue between couples when they are in their ego. At the end of the day, your ego is just fear. It's trying to preserve your identity and the beliefs that you have. Your ego says, “I'm right and you're wrong.”

To become a more conscious person, you have to be willing to let go of your attachment to being right. You have to be willing to look at your partner's perspective. As Stephen Covey said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

There are times when Tatiana and I disagree or get annoyed with one another. However, we never allow our standards to drop to the point where we disrespect each other. We both came from families where our parents fought with one another a lot. We made a pact that we never wanted to be in a relationship like that.

Respect is key in a relationship.

When you argue with your partner it is more of a reflection of what is going on inside of you. It's your responsibility to understand what the root of your emotional triggers are and do the work to heal them.

Whenever you're arguing with your partner ask yourself, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be in love?” Ultimately, there's a lot of things that Tatiana and I let go of because our goal is to choose the higher path, which is love.

This is our BEST relationship advice.

Falling in love is easy, but staying in love takes commitment and work. If you put our advice into practice, your relationship has the power to grow in ways that you never thought were possible.

Choose one another. Choose love. Life is hard enough.