What is the most important decision you'll make in your life?
It's a great question, and I was recently asked it by a follower of Project Life Mastery and decided to put up a video blog with my answer. You can watch the video below:
(Click here to watch on YouTube)
You Are Always Making Decisions
In every given moment of time, you are always making decisions. Even as you read this blog post, you're making a decision – the decision of what to focus on. What you decide to focus on in any given moment of time is the most important decision you'll ever make. Your focus controls everything in your life. What you decide to focus on controls how you feel, and more importantly, what you will do.
The unfortunate thing is, most people don't take control over their focus. They are very REACTIONARY with their focus. They easily lose focus on what they want and instead get distracted by problems and pain. They'll focus on what is wrong in their lives instead of what is right. They focus on what they don't have instead what they do have. They focus on what they can't do instead of what they CAN do.
The QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE is determined by WHAT YOU FOCUS ON.
Most people say that they can't control their focus – WRONG. The truth is, you CAN control what you focus on. It's simply a decision that you make, and nobody else can make that decision but you.
Yet, let's take the example of certain people in the world that don't have the same luxuries as a celebrity does. How about people in Africa or in third world countries that don't have money… or anything, for that matter? In some of these countries, the people are so happy, cheerful and fulfilled. They seemingly don't have anything, yet they celebrate life each day and are grateful for every moment.
The ONLY difference between the celebrity and the person in a third world country is their FOCUS. The celebrity clearly hasn't mastered their emotions and is focused on what's wrong, what's missing, what they don't have, etc… they are ungrateful and unfulfilled. The person in the third world country focuses on what is right, what they do have, and how great their life is. They are grateful and fulfilled!
How To Control Your Focus
What you focus on begins to become habitual over a period of time. It gets to the point where it's on automatic pilot and you'll automatically focus on the positive or negative, entirely depending on how you have conditioned yourself over a period of time. If you are a negative person, it's simply because you've CONDITIONED yourself to be focused on the negative consistently. The same goes for being positive person and CONDITIONING yourself to focus on the positive.
In order to control your focus, you must make a ritual of it. You may have seen my morning ritual video that talks about how to condition yourself daily to be the way you want to be. It's through the process of a ritual that over a period of time, you will automatically focus on what is right. It takes constant effort at the beginning, but it becomes easier as time goes on.
What things can you do to control your focus? Here's a few.
Empowering Questions
I've mentioned in my morning ritual video the power of questions. When you ask yourself a question, you need to come up with an answer. Questions are the best way to control your focus. For you to feel a certain way, simply ask yourself a question that will cause you to feel the way you want.
For example, here's some of my favourite questions to ask myself:
- What am I grateful for in my life right now?
- What am I happy about in my life right now?
- What am I excited about in my life right now?
- What am I proud of in my life right now?
- What am I committed to?
- How can I become even better today?
- How can I contribute and make a difference?
- What am I passionate about?
- Who do I love? Who loves me?
Ask yourself these questions daily and watch how your emotions and feelings change. Yes, you can focus on the negative and the problems in your life – but why? Why not focus on the GOOD? It is there, if you look for it!
The 10 Day Mental Diet
I have a blog post called The 10 Day Mental Diet that helps people to change their life in 10 days. The purpose of the 10 day mental diet is to challenge yourself to go 10 days straight without a negative thought or emotion. Whenever a negative thought or emotion comes up, you must quickly change your state or thought to something positive. If you indulge in a negative thought or emotion for more than a minute, you must start over again.
You will fail many times in the process, as I have. But once you're able to go the complete 10 days, your life will change. You will begin to be aware of your thoughts and feelings more than ever, and more importantly have proven to yourself that you are in control of them. I highly encourage people to take up this challenge!
Reading
I really believe that the habit of reading and learning each day is a powerful way to change your life. When you read a book, you are essentially taking on the beliefs and thoughts of the author. You're programming yourself and re-wiring your brain. That's why I often discourage people from constantly reading the news, as the more you do that, you're feeding your brain negativity which affects you on many levels.
It's important to consume positivity each day. Consuming positivity is like feeding your brain, just as you'd feed your stomach. I personally make sure that I read at least 10 pages a day of a positive book and it really has changed me on many levels.
Make Decisions!
Finally, I will say that making decisions on WHAT TO DO is really important. Your entire destiny is shaped by your decisions. The person that you're in a relationship with, the state of your health and body, your career, etc… all of these were determined by YOUR DECISIONS. You are responsible for every decision that you make and the circumstances of your lives, as it was YOUR DECISION that created it.
If you want to really transform your life, begin to make NEW DECISIONS and take new risks. Action is required and you must get outside of your comfort zone, but in the end, it's always worth it. I got to where I am today because of certain decisions I've made. I'm grateful for all of them, the failures and successes, because they've brought me to you and I'm now blessed to share this information.