I had the pleasure of interviewing Zan Perrion on men, women, seduction and relationships. Zan Perrion is a writer, motivational speaker, life coach, and author of a book called, The Alabaster Girl.
Zan’s mission is to teach men the secrets of real attraction – exactly how to meet, attract, and create loving relationships with beautiful women. He has a very unique philosophy that advocates a more enlightened form of interaction between men and women, based on honesty and authenticity.
Zan has been involved in the seduction community for many years now. I remember attending one of his first seminars when I was 18 years old.
Watch the video below:
(Click here to watch on YouTube)
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Do you want to learn more about Zan Perrion's insights on men, women, seduction and relationships? CLICK HERE to receive a free copy of his book!
Zan is a good friend, and someone that has been a mentor of mine for almost 10 years. I would like to share with you some of the dialogue from our interview together:
How do you get into this field of work?
I was raised in the north of B.C. until I was 18 years old. We had no electricity or running water. When I turned 18 I still hadn’t gone to school. I didn’t have the normal social education that so many teenagers have. I came out of that culture and into the cities of the world, wide-eyed, nervous, and embarrassed because I was a poor and uneducated kid. I felt that I had no value and I was massively insecure, but I knew that I loved girls. I’ve always been in love with feminine energy, and so I dedicated my whole life to trying to understand my relationship to women and why they were rejecting me. I spent my 20’s in confusion. During those times, there were no books or dating sites. I went to the bar by myself, trying to be cool and interesting. In my 30’s, I started to figure out that interacting with women was simpler than I had made it out to be. I found a better way to connect with women. I wanted to understand what it was about the spirit of a man that attracts beautiful women. I set out to capture the difference between that man and 90% of them out there. In my 40’s, the seduction community came along. I took what I had learned over the years, and captured it in my book.
What have you found to be the common traits of the men who are successful at relating to women?
They aren’t the normal traits that we would think. We see rich guys that have a yacht and woman surrounding them, dressed in bikinis, but that’s not real. There’s a type of spiritual energy in women that is drawn to artists and men that have a compelling vision. They want something different. I studied men like Casanova from history that just got it. Women thought that he was a scoundrel, but they couldn’t stop thinking about him. I was so curious what makes up that spirit of mischief and masculine danger that is covered with a beautiful energy of respect. One of the greatest qualities that these men have is generosity. When they talk to you, you are the only one in the world. These men are present, have a massive curiosity, and an inviting spirit, as opposed to a ‘checking out’ spirit. They say to women, “Come into my energy.”
What do you see as the biggest obstacle that holds men back from attracting women into their lives?
It is a lot about mindset, but guys usually wait until they have things in place before they show up in the world so that they can come away from it and say, “Now I can pick-up girls”, but that day never arrives. You don’t have to get everything in place before you show up in the world. Like Woody Allen said, “80% of success in life is showing up”. If guys would go out and talk to 25 different girls, they would be shocked at what would come back their way. Some may turn their backs, but if they just put out those positive vibes, they would be surprised. Men think that they have to have a joke or a story in place in order to approach women. It’s simpler than we think. People have a fear of failure because they’ve been rejected. For this generation of men, it’s the fear of success. What if they do get their energy up, and a woman ends up liking them? Now, they have to be dynamic, interesting and they can’t bum around all weekend. Many men want a great woman, but they don’t really because then they will have to shift their comfort zone and step into their masculine power. They want to keep the comfort of “I’m miserable, I watch a lot of porn, and my life sucks.”
Many relationships fail. Why do a lot of relationships fail in today’s society?
It’s a secular age when it comes to relationships, as opposed to spiritual, which is a man and a woman with a polarity thereof, saying, “I adore you and there’s something in you that inspires me to conquer the world.” Relationships have become tentative. People have a cautious suspicion of one another. I believe that we are missing beauty in our masculine energy, in our relationships, and in our sexual desire as men. Instead, it’s antagonistic. Everything is a shock. We are missing compassion for one another. I think men need to go on their vision quest and our generation doesn’t have enough of those men. In my work, if guys say to me, “If I’m authentic and I compliment a girl, then I will come across as needy.” This is true. A man’s confidence comes from a place of, “If I say something nice to this girl, she will give me favors.” Compliments have nothing to do about women at all; it’s all about them and what they can get. A true lover of women, a man that stands on this earth, will compliment a woman because that’s who he is. He’s not looking for the response. It’s not his job. He will say, “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, but you look beautiful because I’m a man and I like beautiful things.” He showed up and did his job as a man. There is no neediness in that. A woman can feel the difference in the energy because it comes form a vibrational place. There is a great difference between neediness and desire. Desire is beautiful. If a guy is lonely and horny and doesn’t want to be alone, it’s a disservice to say to him, “Be unattached to the outcome.” It’s not a bad thing to have an agenda; it’s a bad thing to have a hidden agenda.
What is your philosophy on living?
Ease into light. I want to have good experiences and share good experiences with people who are on the same wavelength and path as I am. I don’t work too hard. I was so lost and poor when I came out of the north of B.C. I’ve been doing what I do for so many years, and still to this day, whenever I’m in a new country, I look out to the sea and all I can think is, “How is it possible that this poor kid with no education or possibilities is sitting in Saint Kitts?” Those moments give me a life philosophy of deep gratitude. Having this conversation over the skyline of Vancouver is the greatest thing I can do right now. I don’t do things that I have to do. I don’t waste my time. I have gratitude around the journey of life. I focus on going to the wind – to bind myself to the mast and go into the storm.
What is your message for men and women in today’s world?
In this day and age of uncertainty and brokenness with regards to relationships, I have an optimistic feeling towards men and women. I think there is going to be a renaissance. I can feel something. I travel all over the world and I think there is a large majority of people who are tired of antagonistic energy. The dating world is information-driven. Everyone has taken a program, done a dating course, tried online dating, etc. Almost every man and woman has been sold dating coaching and programs. They know the answers. The information age is ending when it comes to relationships and I believe we are entering into an embodiment age, which is where men and women will take all that knowledge they have collated and embody it from an energetic and vibrational perspective. I've worked with men who have been following my work for years. Intellectually, they can finish my sentences, but they’ve never been able to feel the vibration. There is a rhythm to how women respond to you. These men are authentic in their desires, but it doesn’t land. Men don’t know how to take information and apply it. They live in their heads. They need to get into their bodies and start feeling the vibrational field. My message to men is “take heart”. We are going deeper. I want to be in the company of men who are inspired to do that.
What would be your advice for women?
Women need to “take heart” as well. I've dedicated my life to women. I’m on their side, but they have their own work to do. There will not be a men’s movement that has any kind of beauty or value in it, if it isn’t inspired by a women’s parallel movement. We need to reclaim the beauty and strength of the feminine spirit. I am encouraged and excited for women and men.
What else is on the agenda for Zan?
I live with my beautiful fiancée in Romania. I have a lot of travel plans in terms of speaking. The burning desire in my heart is to write my second book, but Im afraid to start it. Ive got 50,000 words of notes. I keep procrastinating, but I want to discover it for myself and then capture it in words.
Do you have a closing message that you would like to share?
Trust the process and don’t ever get discouraged. Instead of looking in the mirror and saying, “I suck”, replace that with, “I'm a student of life.” No matter what you do, you are on a journey of discovery, forever. Don’t blame yourself. Make friends with who you are. If your intentions are sincere and you showed up as best as you could, that’s great.
I’m so grateful that I was able to interview Zen Perrion on men, women, seduction and relationships.
Zan’s work has changed my life for the better. I highly recommend that you read his book and follow his teachings.
Do you want to learn more about Zan Perrion's insights on men, women, seduction and relationships? CLICK HERE to receive a free copy of his book!