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How To Find A Mentor

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how to find a mentor

Mentors, coaches and role models can be powerful resources for helping you to take action to achieve important goals.   These are people that have been where you are and have achieved what you want to achieve.

In this video, I’m going to share with you how to find a mentor.

The best mentors will help you learn and grow by sharing their knowledge and wisdom with you; they will accelerate your learning process and help you to get to your goal much quicker.

Usually, mentors want to work with people that are committed to their personal growth and development.  Be mindful that a good mentor will monitor your progress; if you do not listen to their advice or apply action, they will re-evaluate the time that they commit to the mentoring relationship.

Watch the video below:

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Video transcript

Hey, this is Stefan from projectlifemastery.com. In this video, I want to share with you how to find a mentor. Now, if you're watching this video right now, then you probably already know that mentors, coaches and role models are a really important factor of success.

If you had somebody that was mentoring you, coaching you, guiding you and holding your hand step-by-step to help you achieve your goals and the results that you're after, then obviously you're going to get there a lot faster. I think mentors, role models, and coaches are very important in achieving success. I think there are different levels of it that are useful.

I think, 31, virtual role models and mentors are very powerful. As you're watching this video right now, in a way, I'm mentoring you; I'm sharing advice and experience that has benefited me in my life from my success, that you can then model and utilize in your life. We're so lucky, guys. We're so lucky that we live in a world where the Internet exists.

The fact that you can go online, you can find people that are millionaires and billionaires, people that are successful, healthy and fit, and have amazing relationships, and that you can get access to these people and learn from them in a virtual way online is very powerful.

Virtual mentors, role models and coaches, are very powerful

I'm a big believer, as you're doing right now here on Youtube, of following people, subscribing to people, and learning directly from them in the online capacity that you are in, that's very powerful, as well as online training programs and courses. That's one of the best ways that I've been able to learn as well, because you've got to understand that a lot of mentors, you might think, “I want to be mentored by Bill Gates.  I want to be mentored by Richard Branson,” or something like that, but it's not very realistic because these are people that are so successful, and their time is worth so much. They have millions of people that would love to be mentored by them, but your chances of being mentored directly by them is almost impossible.

If you can instead understand that you could find a course, a program, or a book or a resource, any information from that person that you want to invest in, than consume that, because now, you're almost getting into their mind, you're getting into their blueprint, their mindset. You're learning from them. You're being mentored by them in a virtual way by consuming information from that person.

For example, if you were to hire me and I was your mentor, maybe in an hour of conversation, I can help you. I can guide you. I already have different courses and products out there that you're going to learn so much more because now you can get access to some of my courses where you're going to get hours of my time of me coaching you, guiding you and giving information to you.

In many ways, it's much more inexpensive and efficient to learn from a mentor by purchasing their books, resources and information. I'm a big believer in that. I understand and respect that, a lot of mentors, they're time is valuable. I don't want to take up too much of their time. If I can learn from them, from their programs and courses, I'm going to do that first, because I don't want to waste their time and have them share with me things that they've already shared for free on Youtube, or free in their course, product, or book.

I think you want to take advantage of that as much as possible. I know for myself, I didn't have successful people in my life. I turned to books. I turned to the Internet. I turned to audio programs. That's how I've been able to be mentored by people, like Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy, and these successful people that I've never even met, but they've influenced my life in such an incredible way. Take advantage of that as much as possible; books, audio programs, courses, etc. Seminars are great, too. Really, really awesome stuff.

Now, you're probably wondering, “Okay. Well, I'm watching this video because I want to be mentored by someone that is successful and I should find a mentor.” A few tips that I have for you, #1, understand that a mentor is someone that you have to pursue. You've got to find the right mentor for you, and understand those people that are successful that you want to learn from, they're in a position where their time is valuable, and there's probably a lot of people that would love to be mentored and coached by them as well. In fact, they probably have a lot of people that reach out to them and request coaching and mentoring, etc.

One thing that successful people hate and can't stand is people wasting their time

Successful people always know that time is their most valuable asset. Time is more valuable than money because you can make more money, but you can't get more time. Time is a depreciating asset. We all have a certain amount. It's slowly decreasing as time goes by. You've got to understand to respect and value the person's time.

You don't want to waste their time in any way. You have to also understand that you can't just go to someone and say, “Hey, can you mentor me,” because you're coming from a position of trying to get something from them. You're trying to take value from that person. You're just expecting them to mentor you and just give up their time, which they could then spend with their family, doing things that are important for them, growing their business, making more money, etc.

Then, you, just as a stranger, just expecting that this person's going to give their time to you, they don't know you. It's not very realistic. It's just going to turn people away.

It's almost like if you have a homeless person that approaches you on the street. They're asking you for money and stuff, or they're asking you for stuff, you can see that a mile away. You can see, before they even approach you, this person wants something from you. They have a hidden agenda. You're going to be turned off by that, right?

You're going to try to avoid people like that. I get people all the time, “Hey. Can you mentor me.” These are people that I just feel like are trying to take from me. They're not looking to provide any value. They don't actually care about me and want to provide any value to me.

You want to approach it, always from a position of adding value 

You want to take yourself out of the equation, and think to yourself, “Okay, if I want to learn from this person, or benefit, or be mentored, how can I provide more value to this person than the value that they could provide to me?” I think one of the best ways of doing that is actually trying to work for the person that you want to be mentored by.

If they have a business, a company, if they've got whatever, try to find a way to help them. Try to find a way to help them grow their business, to help them with their goals, their results. Add value to them first, before you expect anything in return. You always have to remember that the value you provide has to be equal or greater than the time or value that they would spend on you.

I'll give you an example. I had this one person contact me. He said, “Stefan, I want to help you. I want to work for you for free. I'm going to do whatever it takes. I would love to work for you for free, but the only exception is you have to coach and mentor me.” I was like, I looked at this, and I was like, “Okay. You've offered to help me for free. My time is worth more than your time, because my time is very valuable, just in terms of business money-wise, my time is worth over a thousand dollars an hour. The value that you're willing to offer me is stuff that I could hire someone else to do for $20 an hour.  It's not a fair trade off you spending an hour to help me, and then I'm going to spend an hour of my time to help you just because, in terms of the business and money-wise, the opportunity cost of my hour is worth more than what your hour is worth.”

It was coming from a position of like, “This guy had an agenda”. It just totally turned me off because this person was just looking to take, and was willing to provide back, but it had a stipulation to it. There's an agenda that this person had.  I don't think that's a good way of approaching it, because again, successful people are smart. They know what their time is worth.

I'd much rather hire someone to do certain things for me than have to trade my time for someone else, because again, I can spend my time doing things that can make me more money. I'd much rather just hire and pay someone $20/hour or whatever it costs to do certain things for me if my time is worth a lot more. You've got to understand that. You've got to think that way.

How can you work for someone?

I mean, contact him. Contact their company. Number one, before you try to work for them, or hire to work with them, or whatever, to add value, know what you can do for them. Have something to offer them. I've had people that contact me, and they're like, “Hey, I'd love to work with you.” I'm like, “Okay. What can you do for me? What skills do you have?” Whatever. They say, “I don't have any skills. I want you to train me.”

Well, now, you're going to take more of my time, because now I have to spend my time to train you. I'd much rather just hire and pay someone instead, because, again, that's going to require my time, which is my money.

If you're going to approach someone, identify, “Okay. How can I help this person?” Develop skills that you can utilize to help that person. Maybe it's saying, “You know what, I can help you with your social media.” I had a person like that say, “Hey, Stefan, I can help you grow your Twitter following. I can help you do this. I've learned this. I've been through courses on this. Here are the things that I can do for you,” and offer to do it.

Offer to help the person out, either to get paid by it, or for free or whatever, provide services for them. By doing that, when you add value to a mentor or somebody that's successful, you're going to benefit from that, because they're going to help you out. They're going to want to help you. You're going to have direct access to them, to ask them questions when you need help, etc. Even then, you want to still value the person's time.

One thing that successful people hate when they're mentoring people is when their students ask them questions that could easily have been found elsewhere. Before you ask a mentor a question, you want to make sure that you've looked online, you try to find the answer before you go to them, because again, you want to value that person's time. You want to respect their time. Offering to help, great way.

Either for free, because you can get value back by doing it that way, or to actually be an employee of the company, and get paid for your time. Again, make sure that you have specific things you can add value. You've done your research, your homework, you know exactly what you can do and how you can help them.  Value that and respect their time.

You want to make sure, again, you're being honest as well, because I've had people that said, “Hey Stefan, I want to work for you for free,” or, “I want to work for you. I can do this for you.” They're people that are just unreliable, and end up wasting your time, as well.

Again, that's the most important thing you've got to understand is that a mentor, a successful person's time is valuable; value that and respect their time more than anything if you want to be able to help them. Again, if you do help them, I'm sure they're going to help you back.

How do you find these people?

Again, online. People they might follow online, or people from books, people you might respect or look up to. It could be people in different areas. One great way to meet people that are more successful is to go to different events, go to seminars. I always go to seminars because you meet people. There are speakers there that are more successful. By being in that environment, you can maybe approach them and offer to work for them, whether it's even taking out their trash, cleaning their apartment, or whatever.

These are all things that you could do that can add value to them. I know many people that have done that to be able to benefit and learn from someone that's more successful as well.

Going to events, seminars is great, even meet up groups, although really successful people don't really typically go to a lot of meet up groups. A lot of seminars, they typically do. Environments like that are key. Then, also, I think, realizing that if you want to be a mentor for people as well, in some cases you're going to have to pay a coach or a mentor also. Again, it's providing value if you want value back.

If someone's time is worth a certain amount of money, you can't just expect them to just to give that to you for free. If they've got a coaching program or mentoring program, you can inquire about it. You can pay them for their time. That's another fantastic way to learn directly from the mentor or coach.

I've done that throughout my life. I've found mentors and coaches. Even when I didn't have that much money, I hired them. I learned from them. That was great. I learned a lot just by paying them. It was a win-win because I'm paying them for their time. Their time is worth a certain amount. I'm paying them for that. I'm getting value back. I'm providing value as well.

You don't want to just expect that someone's going to help you and you're not going to do anything for them. That's very rare. I don't think that ever happens, really. I'm often reminded, the Karate Kid, even the Karate Kid, he was painting the fence and sanding the floors and all that sort of stuff for Mr. Miyagi, before Mr. Miyagi even taught him anything.

It's always a two-way street

You've got to provide value first. Usually, mentors, they want to work with people that are committed, people that are actually going to take action and do what they say, because one pet peeve they all have is giving advice to people that don't listen to their advice or don't even apply it, or take action in any way.

You want to make sure that you're eager, you're committed, you're willing to do what it takes. If you can prove that, then that's how you're going to be able to attract, and be able to actually have a mentor.

I'll finish with this. I don't remember the whole story, but a friend of mine was mentored by Jim Rohn. Jim Rohn's passed away. He's a famous motivational speaker. He met Jim Rohn in a seminar, actually. Jim Rohn was a speaker. he met him sitting down. Jim Rohn went up to speak. He was a young guy.  He asked him and said, “Jim Rohn, I'd love for you to mentor me.” Jim Rohn said, “Okay, well, if you want to be mentored by me, you've got to do this, this, this, this and this, and then call me. Here's my number.” I forget exactly what he had to do, but he had to do certain things, sort of basically show that he was committed.

Once he actually proved that he was committed, he called Jim Rohn, and Jim Rohn was like, “Wow, you're actually one of the few people that actually did exactly what I said. All right. Now you're ready to be mentored by me. Now you're ready to be coached. Now I want to work with you because you're someone that's actually committed and serious.  You're actually willing to listen to me and take action.”

Sure enough, that friend of mine, he's gone on to be very successful. He shared with me that story of meeting Jim Rohn and being mentored by Jim Rohn. That's just another example of working with a mentor and attracting one in your life.

Hopefully, this has been helpful for you in some way. Thank you so much for watching the video. Make sure to like and leave a comment below. Let me know what you think. Subscribe for more videos like this. Thanks for watching.

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How To Find A Mentor
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