Can People Change? DECIDE Who You Want To Be Right Now


can people change?Can people change?

Can we define ourselves?

These were both great questions that I received recently from one of the members of my mastermind coaching program and I thought it'd be worthwhile to create a video blog on.

The answer is YES.

You are in 100% control of who you are.  YOU define who you want to be, no one else.  And you can make that decision right now.

Watch the video below to hear about my story about how I changed myself.

(Click here to watch on YouTube)


You Have to BELIEVE That You Can Change

In order to change yourself, you first need to BELIEVE that you can change.

Without belief, you won't take any action or put any effort forward into making a change.

In my case, when I discovered the self-help industry when I was 17 years old, it gave me the belief and possibility of changing myself.

Before that moment, I never thought I could change.  I thought I was just born a certain way and that “this is who I was.”

When I saw other people have things that I wanted, I didn't believe I could have it.  I just thought they had something that I didn't have or couldn't have.

As a result, I was a victim of my upbringing.  I was shy, introverted, depressed, a bad student, and didn't have many friends.  I was addicted to video games, TV, or anything that could help me “escape” reality.

It wasn't until I got clear on who I wanted to be and made the DECISION to change myself and become that, that my life started to transform.

The DECISIONS that we make shape our destiny.  

When I was 17, I made some new decisions.

I decided that I was going to be confident.  I decided that I was intelligent.  I decided that I was happy.  I decided that I would create the life that I was destined to have.  And I decided that I would NEVER AGAIN settle for less than I can be, do, have, create, or give.

My entire life changed in a moment.

Ever since, I've constantly been cultivating my identity and expanding who I am.

I'm always evolving, growing and focusing on becoming better.

We all have this ability – I'm not a special snow flake.

It all comes down to CHOICE.  It's about defining who you want to be, what you will stand for, and living by it every day.

define yourself

Don't let the outside world or external forces define yourself.  Stop letting other peoples beliefs about you define you.  Don't give them that control over you and your life.  

It's only when you don't know who you are and don't have strong convictions about yourself, that you will easily be influenced by the opinions of others.

You want your identity to be like a ROCK.  It's immovable, something that others can't affect in any way.

It's by creating this new identity and change, that the results you want in your life will come to fruition.

Let me know any thoughts, comments or questions you have below – I'd be happy to answer!

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Can People Change? DECIDE Who You Want To Be Right Now
5 (100%) 1 vote
  • Kenneth Dean Melendez

    Great article! It’s all about defining yourself. Very motivating and encouraging.

  • Yo Stefan!

    I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while now. Glad you’re doing a video blog on this! I’ve recently came across these MBTI-tests who supposedly give you a certain personality-type you’re stuck with. What’s your take on these tests?

    (I started to question the belief that we create our-self after listening to this podcast http://www.endingthegrind.com/etg-podcast-22-penelope-trunk-calls-bullshit/ ) –> pretty lengthy, I don’t really expect you to listen to it given your busy schedule and all ;))

    I completely agree we’re in charge of ourselves by growing the traits we deem most desirable for ourselves (confidence, sociable, physically active, morality and whatnot) by shaping the beliefs that support us. This is basically our identity, the conception and expression of ourselves.

    But how about our talents and our interests. Are these part of our identity?

    I’m thinking there aren’t any natural talents or natural inclinations. We have no “inborn” qualities. Our “talents” are just the things we have had the most experience with (like a skill you improve) and our “interests” are just the things we’ve had the most positive references towards. Or can we define what it is that fascinates/passionate us?

    #overthinking, I know. I should probably meditate a bit more :/

    Anyway, take care man!

    • Hey Simon, thanks I’ll check that out.

      Your identity is just a sum of beliefs about WHO YOU ARE. Your hobbies or interests don’t have to define you, but can. I define myself by what I do (a coach, a teacher, a leader, a blogger, a Kindle publisher, a author, a internet marketer, etc…) but also by the beliefs of who I am at my core (I’m confident, fun, charismatic, intelligent, caring, etc…).

      I agree, we can definitely develop any quality or character trait we desire!

  • Donovan

    A reply to Simon…I’m curious to know Stefan’s answer to his question, too…I think it only takes observing people for a bit with an open mind to realize that while we do have choice and can build habits, people definitely come with personalities! Meaning children aren’t born a ‘blank slate’. Ask any mother of two kids (I’m serious, go find one and ask her!) and she’ll tell you they were both very different, and they *came* like that, right from a young age. Some people have a VERY hard time being aggressive and linear. Others have a VERY hard time being patient and non-linear. My brother and me are opposites like that, and I’ve noticed it for a long time. My brother has an ‘entrepreneur’ personality. He’s not the best listener and he makes decisions fast and will TELL YOU what’s true…whereas I have a ‘counselor’ personality, I make decisions slow and am a deep listener, patient and cool. So I think the truth is half-way: we come with personalities, AND we can change, to a degree. And working *with* nature might be better than trying to go against it! Further, my meditation teacher has a teaching that I find very profound and accurate: the ‘7 Rays’ he calls it. Basically, the simplified version is that there are 7 colors of light that manifest as reality (everything is truly light, hence ‘enlightenment’), and each of us has a ray (a color) for our personality, and a color for our Soul. But the truth is we are all the same in essence: Love-wisdom, and all Qualities are actually within that…from the leadership qualities within the Red ray to the spiritual qualities in the Violet ray… (Shoot…Stefan I think I just hijacked your blog! Just delete this if it’s unwelcome…)

    • I agree with you too – we all have a certain nature and qualities and unique traits, but at the same time, we can grow and develop ourselves. Even things like astrology is fascinating to see how accurate some qualities we have based on our zodiac sign. But again, I don’t believe we’re limited in any way of who or what we can become. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate your input – don’t hesitate to comment again!

  • Donovan

    ah, man…I gotta say, I’m not nearly as successful as Stefan, I’d say ignore me, and listen to Stefan!! I gotta learn to keep my mouth shut!

  • Donovan

    Man this was a great blog post Stefan. THANK YOU BROTHER!!! You’re making it easier for us, seriously, just knowing where you came from and that you’re pulling it all off!!!!

  • auchomage

    This was a very valuable topic you covered thank you.

    I have a question, how did you decide on what you wanted your life to become. Did you keep your thoughts all in your mind, or did you write it down? Was there a resource that you used? This would be helpful.

    • I’ve always been a dreamer and have had a vision for my life. Writing it out is a must, as well as even taking images and having a visual representation of what you want your life to be. I also continually visualize and think about what I want all the time. Check out the My Life Plan video blog, it goes into what I do more in detail!

      • auchomage

        Thanks Stefan, I will surely do that.

  • bruce

    Sounds great man, not buying most of it but it sounds great. When your kindle money mastery actually starts making me profits I’ll get to you.