X

The Best Advice I Could Ever Give You

18

mentor coachI'm constantly getting asked advice from people in a variety of areas, and today I decided to record a video and write an article on the best advice that I could ever give you.  This is advice that has worked for me and will work for you also.  This is my “go-to” answer whenever someone asks me for advice on how to be successful or to achieve a specific goal.  Follow this advice and you will be able to achieve any goal that you want.

Watch the video:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

subscribe-with-itunes-button

You Can't Do Things On Your Own

You just can't.  You need someone to help you.  You need someone to guide you and to show you the way.  You need a PROVEN plan, a strategy if you will.  I don't care if it's a coach, mentor, a step-by-step program or course, or even a really great book.  The bottom line is that you don't want to attempt to do things on your own.

Most people make the mistake of trying to do things on their own, which is honestly, quite stupid.  Why try to re-invent the wheel?  Yes, there is almost everything for free out there already on the internet.  There are message boards and forums that you can go to and try to put all of the pieces of the puzzle together on your own.  But why would you do that?  Do you know how LONG it will take you to achieve your goals by doing that?

coaching mentoring

I did this for the first few years when I was trying to achieve success, and it ended up being a very painful and stressful time.  I was pulled in so many directions and was all over the map.  I was receiving conflicted information, from random people online that most likely weren't successful in any way (because the really successful people are too busy to be spending much time in online message boards).

Commit To The Program And Ignore Everything Else

Let's say you want to lose 20 pounds.  All you have to do is find a coach, mentor, program, or book that can help you get there and do it.  There's so many out there, PICK ONE.  If you want a good book, follow Body For Life.  I could give you so many more, but that book will give you a simple strategy and now all you have to do is FOLLOW IT.  Just commit to it for 3-6 months and don't look at ANY OTHER BOOKS or any other courses or products or coaches.  Just follow what it says, and re-read it again and again.  That's it.  If you do that, you will lose the 20 pounds.

If you want to make money online, just pick a COURSE out there and follow it.  Follow it for 3-6 months and forget everything else out there.  If you choose Kindle publishing, then forget every other newsletter or information that comes your way that isn't related to that.  Unsubscribe from whomever is e-mailing you advice on any other method or strategy out there, it will only distract you.  You just need to FOCUS on that one program during that time and NOT GET DISTRACTED.

ignoring distractions

Of course, there is more benefit you can receive from working with a coach or mentor, as they can help KEEP YOU FOCUSED and hold you accountable and answer questions for you that might not be answered in the course or book.  If you wanted to lose 20 pounds, if you worked with Bill Phillips 1-on-1 (the author of Body Of Life), then you obviously have a much higher chance of success than if you only had the book.  The biggest reason why people fail is they get discouraged too quickly, are lazy, and give up.  

Most people need someone to HOLD THEIR HAND and walk them through the process.  Instead of just having a “map” to their destination, they'd rather have a “guide” that walks the path with them.  If you're the type of person that is lazy and can't remain consistent with something, then you definitely need a coach or a mentor over a book or course.  A coach is also going to TELL YOU what your patterns are and show you what your blocks and limitations are, that are why you are lazy and unable to follow through.  This awareness alone and pushing you to change it is powerful.

Why Aren't You Already Doing This?

I know, I know… I can hear all of that reasons and excuses already.

“But Stefan, I can't afford a coach or to take a course…”

You can't afford NOT to have a coach or to take a course.  If you aren't willing to invest a bit of money into yourself, then I don't know what to tell you.  I can't help someone if they aren't willing to help themselves.  If this is the case for you, then you simply don't want it bad enough.  You can't just “want” to achieve your goal or “want” to be successful at something – you must be COMMITTED to it.  Committed means you'll do whatever it takes.

I hired coaches when I had zero money.  I was in credit card debt, and I still did it because I DID NOT WANT TO CONTINUE TO BE IN DEBT.  It's counter-intuitive, I know, but it was an investment in myself that GOT ME OUT OF DEBT and has made me a lot of money today.

I was resourceful in many cases, too.  One time I wanted to attend a seminar in New York, which I couldn't afford.  What did I do?  I got a few friends together and we put on a car wash at a local mechanic shop and held up signs that said “Fundraiser Car Wash: By Donation”.  We washed cars all day and I told people when they pulled up, “Hey, my name is Stefan and I am holding this car wash so that I can attend this seminar and change my life.  I want to do this so that I can be the best I can be and be a better person to help change the world.”

The result?  People donated $10, $20, and even up to $50.  I ended up making $900 in a day and that paid for my flight and tuition for the seminar.

I've done many things like this.  I've sold cigars to friends and family and asked for their support to help me.  I bought the cigars for $5 and would sell the pack for $20.  I even put on a “poker night” and invited my friends out, and half the pot went to the fundraiser.

Do you see now how much of an EXCUSE it is when someone says “I don't have the money or can't afford it.”  

What you're really saying is, “I AM NOT COMMITTED ENOUGH TO THIS AND WOULD ONLY LIKE TO HAVE IT HAPPEN IF IT IS CONVENIENT AND EASY AND FALLS IN MY LAP.”  That's the translation.

If you need to make $50 or $100 to pay for a course and can't afford it, then BORROW IT.  Or better yet, go to your local temp agency and work on your next Saturday and Sunday.  Ask for a few extra hours at your job.  Work overtime.  Get another part-time job.  Get a paper route… I don't care!

The consequences of you NOT investing in yourself and getting a proven plan is just too great.  Do you want to continue to struggle?  Do you want to continue to be broke?  Do you want to continue to be out of shape?  You're in control and you have the power to change it, if you follow this advice.

This is the advice that I follow and everyone that is successful that I know of follows as well.  I don't know of any easier or faster way.  This is just what WORKS.  If you aren't willing to follow this advice, then I don't know what else to say to you…  I guess you'll just remain where you're at in life.  If you're okay with staying where you're at, then disregard this advice, it will be useless to you.

Please subscribe below to the video on YouTube or the iTunes podcast to get automatic updates:

Thank you so much for your support, and if you have yet to leave a rating or review, please leave me an honest one on iTunes, YouTube or below on the blog.  I appreciate it!

The Best Advice I Could Ever Give You
5 (100%) 7 votes
  • Jyotsna R

    Hi Stefan, i read one of your previous blog posts (7 reasons why you need a life coach). It was so inspiring that I ended up collaborating with a coach for developing my online business. Thanks!

  • Jyotsna R

    I am also in the process of forming an online business mastermind in my area 🙂

  • MULDER

    This makes a lot of sense. I’ve been really motivated with my career these past months and decided to read as much information as I can. I’ve been reading approximately 1 book every other week and listening to 1 audio book per week in sales. I’m taking in a lot of great information and “feel” really motivated but it’s so much information I can’t effectively implement all that I’m taking in. It’s like I’m more focused and learning all I can than actually implementing it. I’ve recently enrolled in the 100 day challenge per your suggestion and it has helped greatly to focus on action and implementation. A popular success/sales trainers suggests reading 1-3 hours per day, I’m curious what your opinion is on this? Thanks Stefan!

    • Herb

      Sorry to butt in. You might be having information overload. This can waste your time. I’ve been “reading” for about one year now and not implemented. This translates to no money earned. As Stefan mentioned above, commit to ONE program. So that’s 100 days challenge and one program. Go deep in it. Why not do 1-3 hours of implementation instead. I personally don’t have time to read 3 hours a day. Maybe 30 min to 1 hour of study — study that is related to that ONE program. One very successful guy devotes 1 hour of study everyday.

      • MULDER

        Thanks Herb!

    • Herb has some great advice for you. But to answer, I don’t spend as much time learning as I used too. Most people are learning junkies. They learn, but don’t apply. The learning you are doing is USELESS if you aren’t taking action with it. As Herb mentioned, you have information overload. I spend 90% of my time taking massive action and executing, and only 10% of my time learning. It’s just like with anything else – if you want to learn how to play basketball, there’s only so much you can learn by reading about it. In fact, you would learn 10X more about how to play basketball by putting the book down and just PLAYING. And of course, if you had Michael Jordan or someone actually COACH you, you’d become better much faster, which is the benefit of a coach or someone that can guide you. Instead of spending 1-3 hours per day reading sales books, spend those 1-3 hours COLD CALLING or SELLING, and you will a) learn more about sales during that time and from that experience, and b) get more results. Of course continue to learn too, but moderate it if it’s a problem for you.

      • MULDER

        Thanks for your input Stefan, I appreciate it. I really feel I got to much into reading and it took away from action.

  • J.D. Talamayan

    Great, great, great advice. Thank you for this mind opening post. You are so helpful. I like how you state the truth bluntly. That was a great point you made about how paying for programs is actually a good thing because it means that people are emotionally invested in the program to follow through with it, compared to the low value and low commitment people have to things that they receive for free. I also liked what you said in the video, “Don’t focus on the results with the program (for the first month or year), focus on the process and the results will come.” I feel like this insight will help me a lot to reach my goals. Reading this post has brought up some questions that I have. Hopefully, they are not too personal.

    How long have you been coaching people to help reach their goals? Also, when did Kindle self-publishing come out (or how/when did you find out about it) and when did you start coaching on the process?

    • Glad you enjoyed the video! To answer your question, I’d recommend to check out this video I did on how I got started making money online: http://projectlifemastery.com/how-i-started-making-money-online-and-how-long-it-will-take-you-to-make-money-online/

      I was a dating coach for 5 years before, and ran seminars/bootcamps and did a lot of 1-on-1 coaching during that time, which is what later led into “life coaching”. I coached hundreds of people during that time, month after month, new students would come in and we used to do a lot of free events in our city to get new students signed up all the time!

      For life coaching, I’ve been doing it actively I’d say since 2012. I coached a few people here and there before that, but I didn’t start to advertise myself as a life coach until I created PLM in 2012. People started coming to me asking for coaching and for me to work with them, since they liked my videos. I got into Kindle Publishing during 2012 as well, when I took some e-books I already had made and uploaded them to Kindle. I didn’t actively get into Kindle publishing until October/November of 2012, when I was in South America and decided to really see where I could take this. I had a lot of success early on, then in 2013 I started coaching people 1-on-1, then in August of 2013 I had developed a really solid method for Kindle publishing and launched Kindle Money Mastery. I’ve been coaching with Kindle and making money online since 2013, as the demand for that type of coaching from me has been the most popular.

  • Nina Longhini

    I couldn’t agree more with the theory of choosing a program and sticking with it. I’m a ‘learner’ myself and have personally spent countless hours poring over information related to what I want to learn. Stacks of printouts and in general, tons of random internet information.
    This process is frustrating because there is no rhyme or reason, no specific steps or plan of action. Just a confusing jumble of great but again, random information.
    Over the years I’ve chosen to purchase programs from the ‘coaches, gurus,’ etc. that have proven success. They have the ‘fruit on the tree’, so to speak. I can’t express enough the value that a solid program can give. Spend the money and consider it an investment in yourself, you will not regret it.
    I used to think that if I buy into a program, it may not have all I need or that I may possibly get ripped off by some person claiming expertise and just making money off the fools.
    Do your homework, follow the leaders that make investments in themselves, then make an investment in YOU.

  • Rym

    Awesome advice but does this mean that all blog articles are useless ? That we should stop reading all these countless self help articles on the internet because it’s free information and there’s generally no specific and comprehensive action plan on it ?

    • They aren’t useless, but they are a DISTRACTION. What I’m saying is stop distracting yourself by consuming information from a ton of sources and just focus on ONE METHOD of doing things, and focus on that only. It’s like if you are following a certain workout plan, reading more articles on other workout plans and everything else is only going to distract you and make you jump all over the place. Why would you need to read all those other articles if you already have a proven, effective, step-by-step method that you are following?

      • Rym

        You are so right thank you! I know deep down that my big issue is a lack of stability and that i need to work on my follow-through, i want to try everything at once and i think the reason why i look for many methods is because i’m a perfectionnist, i’m afraid that once i choose one method,i might miss a method that is better or that suit my needs better that’s why i’m constantly searching and experiencing more starts and stops then completion! I’m actually very ambitious but very impatient too! Can you please please make a video about how to deal with perfectionism,lack of commitment and lack of patience ?

  • Caleb Tovera

    i like this. from now on i am going to focus in only one course that will teach me how to make money online. And to focus on it i have to ignore everything else. I always get distracted by other “make money” opprotunites that i spend more time looking into other courses and researching other strategies than actually applying what i learn. I think that this is a very bad habit and another bad habit i have is that i am a perfectionist in your post about “speed of implementation” i realized that i need to work faster and avoid perfectionism. my customers wont care if im perfect they just care if i solve their problem. i need to have an intense customer focus. so i am going to follow this post and the speed of implementation post.

    Thanks stefan!

  • Nada Ghonim

    Thank you Stefan!

  • Aimz Khalid

    I figured this out for myself a long time ago but forget every single time. Thanks Stefan you always straighten up my focus!