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Why People Are Negative, Pessimistic And Skeptical

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why people are negativeThe more and more I've put myself out there in the world of the internet, the more susceptible and vulnerable I've become to both praise and criticism.  Since launching ProjectLifeMastery.com nearly two years ago, publishing YouTube videos, publishing Kindle books, and launching Kindle Money Mastery, I've had a rather unique experience.

On one hand, I receive a lot of praise and positivity.  I'd say nearly 95% of the comments I receive on my YouTube videos, blog posts, as well as emails/messages that I receive are positive.  I absolutely love hearing how people received benefit or value from something I've created.  I often get to hear remarkable stories about how someone has turned their life around because of me, or how they're now making thousands of dollars every month due to my Kindle Money Mastery course.  It's remarkable and very fulfilling!

On the other hand, I also receive some negative comments and remarks too.  Every once in awhile I'll have someone post something negative on one of my YouTube videos or on my blog.  I might get an e-mail from someone saying, “This is a scam!” or “This doesn't work” or I'll hear some level of negativity, pessimism, or skepticism.  While I was originally very frustrated with hearing these comments at first and very taken aback, I've learned to often ignore them and not take them personally.  I was absolutely shocked that a lot of people would think this way or have these opinions, when I've always believed my intentions are pure and from a place of contribution.  It doesn't feel good to get attacked when you're spending your valuable time to put out videos or blog posts that are focused on helping people for free, without asking for anything in exchange.  But at the same time, I began to understand why people are negative, pessimistic and skeptical, simply because I used to have the same negative attitude over 10 years ago before I started to make big changes in my life!

After further analyzing and digging deep into why people were behaving this way, I decided to put together a video blog to share why people are negative and what to do about it.  Here's the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

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People That Are Pessimistic And Skeptical Are Just Afraid

negative peopleThe biggest thing that I've learned is that people that are pessimistic and skeptical are really just afraid.  These people have been disappointed and been hurt so many times in the past, that they've decided to take on a negative attitude to further protect themselves from experiencing this pain.  Maybe they've been scammed before in the past, or they tried something and it didn't work, or failed at something – their skepticism is just a reaction from their PAST EXPERIENCES.  As a result, these people lose any hope for anything working and simply give up.  They lose their dream and ability to get excited about something.  They are immobilized and end up choosing to stay exactly where they are, instead of getting their hopes up for something that could have the potential to change their life.

I've received a few interesting comments and remarks about my Kindle Money Mastery program since I've released it.  Here's some of them…

“This is just a scam!  This isn't real and doesn't work!”

“You are a con artist and ripping people off!”

“If this person was really successful, why wouldn't he just keep this to himself instead of sharing it with others?”

“Those testimonials are paid for – they are all actors!”

“Self-help and this positivity crap doesn't work and is just a waste of time – you can't change like he says.”

I'd say these are the most common ones I receive.  I wanted to comment on each one and give my perspective, really digging deep to see where each of these comments are coming from.  Here's my thoughts:

“This is just a scam!  This isn't real and doesn't work!”

I used to get annoyed and frustrated when I first would hear this comment.  How does this person know whether or not this works?  Have they even tried it?  Did they even attempt to use or apply what I was showing them?  How can they say it's a scam, when so many people have benefitted from it and received amazing results?  

This type of comment is just an unfair judgement that isn't accurate at all.  The person is more is automatically discrediting whatever it is, without having an open mind or giving it a fair opportunity.  This often stems from a limiting belief that they've developed in the past, after being hurt or disappointed.  This person has been scammed before or been through pain, therefor any new opportunity that they see that makes a claim that can improve their life, they will immediately believe it's a scam.  As a result, this person will continue to suffer and the ultimate consequence is the destruction of their dreams.  They aren't willing to take a chance or give something a try, because they're in a place of “learned helplessness” – they believe NOTHING can work.  Instead, this person needs to cultivate their FAITH and understand that the past does not equal the future.  Just because you had a bad experience in the past and was scammed, doesn't mean that the future will repeat itself and you'll be scammed again.

“You are a con artist and ripping people off!”

This is another judgement that is a false accusation and has no merit.  Does this person know me?  Has this person gone through my program or even applied anything that I've said?  Do they know first-hand what my customers and people that follow me think?  If they did, they'd know that 95% of people receive great value from what I've offered them and have benefitted in remarkable ways.  But of course, this person doesn't take the time to consider or understand that, so they'll make a negative comment which is based on their past conditioning.  They've developed the belief that people selling something on the internet is a “con artist” and “ripping people off”, which isn't true – there's so many people out there that are helping people with integrity and changing lives.  This negative belief is so destructive and as a result, this person won't make it anywhere in their life because they're not willing to give someone a chance and learn something new.

“If this person was really successful, why wouldn't he just keep this to himself instead of sharing it with others?”

why people are skepticalI've heard this a few times relating to myself and other successful people that have made the decision to share something that has worked with them.  This comment is based on a scarcity mentality that this person is suffering from.  They don't understand why someone that is successful would want to share what they're doing with others, because THEY NEVER WOULD if they were successful – they would keep it secret.  What these people don't understand is that the most successful people in the world are often the most generous and giving people in the world.  The reason is because they've already taken care of their own needs and are coming from a position of ABUNDANCE, not scarcity.  When you're in a position of abundance, you WANT to give and share.  You feel a great sense of fulfillment and joy by sharing and giving to others, because that's a core need that every human being has.  

I don't operate from the place of “If I share with people how I've made money publishing Kindle books, that there will be more competition and I will make less”, which is what a lot of people would believe.  I don't believe that at all.  I believe by sharing this with others, they will benefit from it, and I will too.  There's millions of niches and markets to make money from with Kindle publishing and other avenues of making money online.  In fact, I believe I'd be selfish if I kept this to myself and the entire premise of my blog and business is to empower others.  I created ProjectLifeMastery.com to share everything that has benefitted my life and it's my way of giving back and making a difference.  I'm so passionate to share this stuff, because it's changed MY life.  Now I get to change MORE peoples lives by sharing it, AND I get to help people come from a place of abundance and be able to make a difference in peoples lives through Kindle publishing as well.  How cool is that?  For me, that's exciting!  If I kept everything to myself, I wouldn't get any joy or fulfillment of what I do because I would be short-changing myself with the level of fulfillment I could experience through contributing to others.

This same scarcity mentality applies to other areas, such as dating and relationships.  Often people don't feel they have many options, so they take whatever shows up.  Or they believe they'll never meet anyone again like this person, or get too attached to a person.  They are operating from SCARCITY.  If they had an abundance mentality, it wouldn't affect them because they'd understand “there's plenty of fish in the sea.”  If it didn't work out with one person, they'd simply move onto the next.  Just like how there's an unlimited amount of potential partners and dating opportunities out there, there's also an unlimited of opportunities to make money from Kindle publishing and many other methods on the internet.

“Those testimonials are paid for – they are all actors!”

This person is SO AFRAID of trusting or believing that something could work, they'll continue to look for reasons for why it's a scam or why it won't work.  How would they know they aren't real or sincere?  They don't.  It's another false assumption and judgement, based on their past conditioning.  When someone has a belief or conviction about something, they'll look for ways to support that belief or conviction.  For example, if someone has the belief that “You can't trust anyone” and someone was nice to that person, then they'd justify their belief by saying, “Yeah, but they're really only just being nice to me so that they can take advantage of me.”  See what I'm saying?  It's just a limiting belief and it's operating from fear!

“Self-help and this positivity crap doesn't work and is just a waste of time – you can't change like he says.”

This person has been disappointed and hurt so many times that they've given up.  They believe that you can't change, ONLY because they haven't been able to change.  They are so jaded and pessimistic, that they discredit anything that has the potential to change their lives.  I used to feel this way in the past, as I felt I had “tried everything”.  I had gone through self-help programs, but it didn't work out how I thought it would.  I started to believe that NOTHING would work.  I soon realized that this belief was destructive and it wasn't the program, course or seminar – it was ME.  If there's people that have received benefit from something, then there's no reason why you can't also.  If someone has changed their life (finances, weight, relationship, etc…) then YOU CAN TOO.  It's not that the program, course or seminar doesn't work – it's that YOU don't work.

As I've said before, just because something has failed in the past, does NOT mean it will dictate the future.  Is it possible that YOU didn't give your 100% into the program, course or seminar and that's why it didn't work out for you?  Are you taking any responsibility for your results at all, or are you just going to blame the program, course or seminar for your lack of results?  It's much easier to blame and carry around the belief that “nothing works”, but then you continue to suffer as you give up on your dreams and destiny.

Negative People Are Always Unhappy And Miserable

why people are pessimisticIn the same way, I've seen and experienced comments on Youtube and throughout the internet that are negative and hurtful.  Look up any popular YouTube video out there and you'll see this.  You'll see people put others down, criticize others, make rude remarks, etc… It doesn't just happen on YouTube, but Facebook, Twitter and anywhere that people can interact online and hide behind their computers.

The truth is, negative people are always unhappy and miserable.  They've conditioned themselves to always focus on the NEGATIVE in situations, which is a pattern they repeat with EVERYTHING.  How is it that someone can watch a YouTube video that someone has taken the time to put together for them with the intention of adding value and make a negative comment?  To do this, the person would have to DELETE all of the positive value in the video and FIND something negative that they could point out and comment on.  I can guarantee you that this person does this in EVERY area of their lives as well.

If they went to a movie that cost $100,000,000 to make and someone spent their entire life to share it with the world, they would find something negative about it and shoot it down.  This is also known as a critic.  To be a critic, it requires NO COURAGE and NO RISK.  Any idiot can be a critic and criticize others – but it takes COURAGE and MASSIVE RISK to put yourself out there the way the movie producer did, something that the critic would never attempt.

When people are negative, it's a reflection of themselves.  They are unhappy with themselves and their lives, so they attack others and make others feel insignificant, so that they can be more significant.  When they judge others, they are just judging themselves.  They don't realize that when you point the finger at someone, you have 3 fingers pointing right back at you.

Positive People Find The Good In EVERYTHING

positive peopleIf you think about it, someone that is happy and positive will always find the good in everything.  If they watch a YouTube video, they will find something positive from it no matter what.  If they watch a movie that most people would say sucks, they will always find something positive in it regardless.  There's no such thing as a “bad” or “negative” experience to these people.  They are masters of MEANING and are always coming up with an empowering meaning, in everything that life gives them.  If they read a book that didn't have anything special in it, they will still find ONE THING that benefitted them and will say “That was a great book!”.  It's a totally different mindset.

People that are positive and happy have NO REASON to ever be negative or say something negative to someone else.  What you say and how you act is a reflection of WHO YOU ARE, and they are so happy and fulfilled in their lives that they want to share that positivity with others.  They don't need to bring others down in order to feel more significant, because they already feel adequate and significant just the way they are.

These same positive people are willing to look for the GOOD in a new opportunity that is presented to them.  If they see a book, program, course or seminar that says it can change their life, they will BELIEVE it.  They will often GO FOR IT and play full out with it, because they aren't operating from past fears and limiting beliefs.  They live their lives in anticipation that any new idea, thought or insight has the power to take their life to the next level.  If the program or course doesn't work out for them, they are NOT discouraged by it and still look at it as a POSITIVE EXPERIENCE.  They don't feel jaded or closed off to the next opportunity, but rather embrace trying something new and aren't willing to give up on their dream.  These are the people that are happy, fulfilled and achieve their dreams.

Conclusion

Ultimately, I believe that every human being has good intentions and a good heart.  When someone behaves in a negative way, I understand that this isn't really who they are – it is just a pattern of conditioning that they are suffering from.  I have learned to sympathize with these people, as I see that they are in pain in their lives and will never get to be happy unless they change their mindset.  I've learned to love and to pray for these people, as I can relate and have been where they've been.  Maybe it's naive to think that my blog or video could make an impact on them and perhaps it could change the way they look at themselves, but nonetheless I have my faith that I can make a difference.

I hope you enjoyed this lengthy video blog post and that it has made you look at things differently.  If you enjoyed it or have anything to say, please leave a comment!  I look forward to hearing from you.

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Why People Are Negative, Pessimistic And Skeptical
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  • Kenneth Dean Melendez

    This is so true! People are viewing new opportunities through the lens of the past. I have big dreams and I will accomplish them. Big risks = big reward

  • I’m a naturally negative person (it’s a constant struggle to not be) but this is a great post and I agree with all of it. Most negative people think they’re actually helping others by putting things down and truly believe they’re not negative, but a “realist”, which is the credo for pretty much every negative person (I even say it myself). I’m not posting this to say “ease off us debbie downers, Stephan” ’cause we all need a good kick in the butt. I just wanted to shed some light on the subject from the other side of the spectrum. Regards, Tim

    • Thanks Tim for sharing! I’ve heard the “realistic” argument before, but my take on that is that nobody that is truly successful was ever realistic. Columbus wasn’t realistic. Thomas Edison wasn’t realistic. To me, being realistic is focusing on the worst possible situations and living by that. Someone that is overly optimistic tends to cut off any possibility of failing and having things not work out, and as a result, they keep going and don’t give up. Someone that is realistic will often look at both the negative and positive side of things, but then can have the negative side of things limit them and prevent them from taking any action because they’re being realistic about things. If Thomas Edison was realistic, he most likely wouldn’t have attempted to create the light bulb and would have listened to everyone else, and we’d have no electricity! Thank God he wasn’t realistic and was overly optimistic. 🙂

  • InfoFish

    THIS was awesome. When is your next kindle class? I’m there!

  • Nailed it, Stefan – as usual, thank you. Two things that sort of popped in my brain while watching:
    1. I have noticed that not only can you learn to ignore negative influence and pessimistic people, but by understanding the motivation for that negativity (fear) you can actually develop a bit of compassion for their situation. Instead of anger, I wouldn’t say I pity negative people, but I can certainly feel for their situation – mainly because I used to be one.
    2. To the people who are quick to play a “realist” card of some sort, “I’m not negative, I’m realistic.” or “I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist.”, etc… I always provide the same (usually unsolicited, lol) advice: I promise there’s a possible downside to thinking negatively, but what’s the downside to finding the positive in everything? There is none. i.e. ‘might as well’ think positive, because it can’t hurt.
    Well done.

  • Stalyn Javier Garcia

    I know a lot of things, I reed, I watch videos but at the end I don t make enough progress. I fell too much far from my ideal life. How to make progress everyday?

    • Roy

      Your problem is you don’t take action. Take action first and only read and watch videos for specific things you need to learn when you need to. You should be taking action 90% of the time, learning, planning 10%.

      Make a big coffee, play some music, start now, don’t sleep!

      • Stalyn Javier Garcia

        Thank you!

  • Robert Hunter

    I woke up this morning, found your book on amazon, then saw your website…simply, thank you. I needed a directional boost this morning after praying all night, and I find this. I look forward to reading and getting to know about you and benefit. I like your take on how you let positive and negative comments affect you. I don’t ever comment, but I felt compelled to. Sincerely, Robert Hunter

  • Stefan…thank you for this post. Always good to shed light on dark energy. Reminds me of an anonymous quote “Fear is the dark room where all negativity is developed”. I deal with a rather conservative and risk-adverse community. So I know the mindset. Check out a book by Columbia Professors, Heidi Halvorson and Tory Higgins, “Focus: Use Different Ways of Seeing the World to Power Success and Influence”. The book explores the positive and negative motivations of people and how to effectively communicate/ collaborate with them. This may help others explore their own negativity and use it to push them forward. For example, if they DON’T try out your courses, they stand to loose a lot more time and money. Which ultimately increases their difficulty of attaining their goals. I try appealing to their negative motives, instead of taking a positive approach when communicating. Check out their HBR blog spot that summarizes the book. http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/05/the-secret-to-effective-motiva/ Hope this helps. Thanks again. Great post.

  • Margarita Valles

    This was a great read! I’m not quite sure why, but I’ve run into many negative people in the community I live in, and it’s starting to make me feel like it’s just me! Which is why I went to google for help and came across this blog. Thank you so much for this and I will take it with me:)