How To Build Confidence And Attract The Woman Of Your Dreams

Do you want to learn how to build confidence so that you can attract the woman of your dreams?

I believe that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities that someone can have. Research has confirmed that men and women rate confidence as a very attractive trait in a potential partner. Confident men are comfortable in their masculinity. They know who they are and they own it.

They don't have to be loud in order to be noticed by women because their presence takes over the room, just by being themselves. In short, confidence is sexy. If confidence is such an attractive trait to a woman, then why do so many men struggle with it?

I'm here to tell you why and how you can build the confidence that women desire. A wise person once said, “Self-confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how great you are if you can't see it yourself?”

In the video below I talk about how to find the right person to spend your life with:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

Do you want to learn how you can master confidence in every area of your life? CLICK HERE to join my Life Mastery Accelerator program!

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If you are reading this, I'm assuming that you want to learn how to build confidence with women.

As men, we all want to be confident with women, but not all of us are. What a lot of people fail to realize is that confidence is a trait that is developed. No one is born with confidence.

The dating world is really complex and it puts a lot of pressure on men to show up and be the prince charming that every woman is looking for. Men are fed a lot of strategies on how to pick up women, but oftentimes these strategies turn out to be tricks and gimmicks that are far from authentic.

They may work in the short-term and get you a few dates, here and there. However, this is not the way that you will attract a partner into your life and create a long-lasting relationship. A lot of men are only left feeling burnt out and tired of the dating game. They may get rejected so many times that they think, “What is the point? I'll never find anyone.” This mindset only serves to lower their self-esteem even further.

R. Don Steele, the author of the book, Body Language Secrets: A Guide during Courtship and Dating says that the desire is evolutionary and that females want someone who’s not going to run from a fight, a man who is confident in his ability to provide and protect.” 

Some men think that they need to fork out a cheesy pick-up line or interrupt a woman's conversation so that they will be ‘noticed' for their efforts. These advances only make women feel uncomfortable, annoyed, and at times, insulted.

Lacking confidence is a horrible feeling.

When you are around an attractive woman, do you feel nervous, anxious or intimidated? So much so that you stumble over your words and end up running the other way for fear that a woman is going to see through your insecurities?

I can relate to this because I used to struggle with low self-confidence for many years. When I was younger I was extremely shy and introverted. Let's just say that meeting women was not my forte. I tried everything and anything to get a girlfriend, but women just wouldn't give me the time of day.

If I did manage to meet an attractive woman, I would be too nervous to even talk to her, which would turn her off altogether. I was a sensitive and caring guy. I didn't understand. Isn't that what women love in a man?

But I was missing that golden trait known as, confidence.

I started to realize that this wasn't just a problem that I was dealing with. Other men that I knew were struggling to meet and attract women as well. At 21 years old, I decided to build Lifestyle Transformations, a dating coaching business for men. I hosted dozens of seminars and events and coached thousands of men on how to build confidence and attract women into their life.

From personal experience and my work with other men, I've found that the #1 reason why men lack confidence when it comes to women is fear of failure. Fear stops men from being the man that a woman needs and desires.

So, where does this fear come from?

We live in a culture where masculinity is associated with toughness and aggressiveness. As a result, being a sensitive and caring man can be frowned upon or seen as “weak.” What do you think this does to a man's self-esteem? It can definitely lead them to believe that they aren't manly enough.

According to research, there are 11 masculine norms that embody what it means to be a man: winning, emotional control, risk-taking, violence, power over women, dominance, playboy lifestyle, self-reliance, the primacy of work, disdain for homosexuals, and the pursuit of status. However, what about the men that are quiet, sensitive and introverted? They matter too.

Just because they don't fit into one of the above personality types, doesn't mean that they aren't a real man.

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time with my Mom and sister. As a result, I took on more feminine traits, like sensitivity, empathy, and vulnerability. Unfortunately, this meant that I was missing the masculine energy that so many women are drawn to. My Dad and I didn't have a strong relationship when I was growing up. In a lot of ways, I feared him, so I tended to veer away from stereotypical masculine activities.

After a lot of rejection from women, I started to notice that something needed to change. I began engaging in activities like martial arts, which allowed me to embrace my inner masculine. When I did, my physical appearance started to change, my confidence boosted and not surprisingly, I became more attractive to women.

The fact of the matter is that a woman likes a man that can take charge and that isn't afraid to say how they feel.

David Klow, a Chicago based Psychotherapist states that “women like direct men the same way a salsa dancer likes a good lead. When there are clarity and direction, she feels relaxed. If she can’t trust his movements, they step on one another’s toes. If he is direct and clear in his leadership, however, everyone wins.”

Confidence doesn't magically happen overnight. You've got to do the work to be attractive to women, every single day. Confidence is a mindset.

Let's explore 4 things that you can do in order to build your confidence and attract the woman of your dreams.

1. Take Care Of Your Body 

Let's face it… women love a man that takes care of his body. This is one of the most effective ways to build self-confidence. When you look great, you feel great, and that package can be extremely attractive to the opposite sex. More importantly, exercise supports mental well-being.

In this study, men with the highest levels of physical activity, cardio fitness, and muscular strength experienced less stress than those who notched lower levels. They also scored higher on tests of “mental resources”—how energetic, capable, and confident they felt about their daily tasks.

I'm not saying that you need to look like Hercules, but physical attraction does matter when it comes to first impressions. Pay attention to your appearance, in a way that builds your self-esteem. Hit the gym, lift some weights and watch your confidence skyrocket when you start getting the attention from women that you have been seeking.

2. Dress For Success

You only have one opportunity to make a great first impression. Have you ever thought about the message that your clothes give off to other women? What you wear says a lot about who you are and what matters or doesn't matter to you. Women pick up on this kind of stuff.

In her book, You Are What You Wear: What Your Clothes Reveal About You, clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner talks about a phenomenon she calls the “psychology of dress.” She explains not only how psychology determines our clothing choices, but how to overcome key psychological issues your wardrobe might be bringing to light in your everyday life.

If you want to attract a woman at a bar, would you wear ratty jeans and a wrinkled shirt? No. You would dress for success! You don't have to go all out in order to look good. Find a style that represents who you are and pick clothes that convey the message that you want to send to women.

This is a great way to start building your confidence and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

3. Work On Your Verbal & Non-Verbal Communication

When it comes to dating and attracting a woman, communication is key. This is where a lot of men get stuck. If you lack self-confidence, your body language is going to show it.

Men that are shy and nervous tend to make themselves appear smaller by looking down, crossing their arms, and curling their shoulders inwards. Not only is this behavior not attractive to women, but it also sends the message, “I'm closed off and don't want to talk to you.”

Your posture affects the way that you feel. Work on standing tall, with your shoulders back and your head, held high. You will immediately feel more confident by doing something as simple as changing your posture.

When it comes to communicating with a woman, keep steady eye contact with her and actively listen to what she has to say. Ask her questions about herself and don't try to overtake the conversation. Compliment her on her sense of humor or intelligence. The focus is on being genuine and authentic.

A woman can smell cheese from a mile away. However, if she feels that you are being sincere, you will be acknowledged for it.

4. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

This is how to build confidence and attract the woman of your dreams.

The woman of your dream is out there, waiting for you. However, she's not going to magically show up at your doorstep. You need to do the work in order to be attractive to her, so do it. In the words of Larry Winget, “Be confident. There is no one who is not attracted to confidence. Women dig it. Men love it. Confidence adds hair, drops ten pounds, and takes off ten years.” If that doesn't motivate you, I don't know what will!

Do you want to learn how you can master confidence in every area of your life? CLICK HERE to join my Life Mastery Accelerator program!

Are you ready to learn 3 ways to develop quiet confidence? CLICK HERE to read the article that I wrote on Medium!