3 Ways To Improve Your Communication Skills

Communication skills are important in every aspect of our lives.

Almost all of us engage in some form of communication every single day. In simplest terms, communication is the act of transferring information from one person or place to another. 

People communicate in order to facilitate the spread of knowledge and share messages with one another. However, because people have different communication styles, sometimes conflict can ensue.

A recent survey found that more than 80 percent of employees indicated that miscommunication occurred in their organization very frequently, frequently, or occasionally.

It’s never too late to become a master communicator.  Are you ready to learn 3 ways to improve your communication skills?

Watch the video below:

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Effective communication skills are critical to success in life.

I learned this the hard way. I didn't always know how to communicate.

Back in high school, I used to be painfully shy. I was the quiet kid that didn’t have many friends. Most people didn’t even know that I existed because I would sit in the corner of the room. I did my best to avoid as many social scenarios as I possibly could.

Sure enough, people would tease me and make fun of me because I was different. I was a perfect target because I appeared weak. I wanted all of the things in life that required to be an effective communicator, so I dove into the world of self-development. I did the work to improve my communication skills. Eventually, I coached and helped other people develop this skill in themselves.

From my work, I found that there are many different types of communication skills. Don’t think that you have to be the most talkative person out there in order to be seen. A lot of people worry too much about the words that they are speaking. In my eyes, that’s not what makes a great communicator. Oftentimes, it's the people that try too hard to stand out that are the most insecure.

Success requires that you cultivate different communication skills at different times, depending on the person you are talking to and the environment in which you find yourself in. The more you know about these skills, the more effective you can be in communicating your points, as well as in understanding what others are trying to communicate to you.

Let’s talk about 3 ways that you can improve your communication skills:

1. Develop Your Confidence

The greatest communicators possess unwavering confidence in themselves and their abilities. They don’t say the perfect words at the perfect time. However, they have congruence, which is alignment between what you say and believe.

When great communicators speak, you can feel the energy behind their words. A big part of that confidence comes from their competence. 

I used to spend all day and night in front of my computer. I had to rid myself of all my video games and force myself to go out into the real world and practice my communication skills. The truth is that I was painfully nervous and anxious about doing it. However, if I wanted to be successful, I knew that I had to reframe my fear.

I'm a big believer that if you aren’t feeling fear, then you aren’t growing.

I embrace new challenges and purposefully find scenarios that scare the shit out of me. Sounds crazy, right? Not really. This is how you develop true confidence. The best way to overcome fear is by embracing it. That is how you become the kind of person that can communicate in any environment.

Research by Russian developmental Psychologist Lev Vygotsky suggests that, in order to keep growing, you must keep moving into your ever-shifting Zone of Proximal Development. This is the area between one's comfort zone and the frustration zone, where optimal learning takes place.

2. Develop Nonverbal Communication

In 1971 a man by the name of Albert Mehrabian published a book called, Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes, where he discusses his research on nonverbal communication. From his study, he concludes that prospects based their assessments of credibility on factors other than the words a salesperson spoke — 55 percent of their weight was assigned to the speaker's body language and another 38 percent to the tone of their voice.

Here's the kicker… only 7 percent of their credibility assessment was given to the salesperson's actual words.

A lot of people focus on words, but the reality is that it’s not that important. It’s not what you say; rather, it’s how you say it. Two people can say the exact same thing, but it will come across completely different based on how they express it.

This reflects the importance of nonverbal communication. There’s always two types of communication that are occurring between two people or a group of people – surface level communication and sub-communication. Whereas surface level communication is the literal meaning of words, sub-communication is the hidden messages that are behind words. 

When you are in a conversation with someone:

• What is the tone of your voice like?
• What facial gestures do you make?
• How do you position your body?
• How do you dress?

These are important questions to ask yourself because nonverbal behavior is a powerful tool that can help you connect with and influence others. People will judge you, based on how you look, stand, move, and communicate. This is why you need to pay attention to the small details.

You can always spot a truly confident and credible person based on the body language habits that they possess. They have a strong handshake, they stand tall, with their shoulders back, and they look you in the eye when are talking to you.

3. Practice Active Listening

Most people would agree that active listening is important. However, not everyone feels a strong desire to develop this skill. One of the most common complaints in any relationship conflict that arises is the issue of not feeling heard. 

In the words of Stephen Covey, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

A lot of people think that they are good listeners, but many are not. The issue comes down to not really knowing what active listening is. Listening is when another person is talking and you are just standing in the room and listening. You may be thinking about something else. If you are always in your head, others will pick up on that energy.

By contrast, active listening involves fully engaging in and absorbing what someone else is saying to you. It’s about being present. Always make an effort to acknowledge and appreciate others when they are speaking to you. When this happens, a deeper level of connection can be experienced between two people.

Why is it so difficult to actively listen?

Well, part of it is because we have been conditioned to move throughout our lives with a busy mindset. We are always in our heads and constantly thinking about the next place that we need to be. As a result, we are barely able to show up for ourselves, let alone others.

Everyone wants to feel heard. When you communicate with others, give them the gift of your full attention and presence. Listen for the meaning behind their words, reflect back what they are saying, ask open-ended questions and have empathy by putting yourself in their shoes.

If you catch your mind wandering, do the work to bring yourself back. Keep in mind that this is a skill that takes time and practice to develop. Don’t expect to be a communication expert overnight. 

This is how you improve communication skills.

You can read all the books on communication skills, but if you don’t actually practice and do the work, you won’t make any progress. In my opinion, communication skills are critical to success in life, which is why it’s imperative that you make it a priority to develop them.

Paul Meyer said it best – “Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.” How can you communicate better in your personal and professional relationships?

Are you ready to learn 21 powerful morning rituals that will take your life to the next level? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free cheat sheet! 

Do you want to learn 5 different ways that you can show your partner love, based on their love language? CLICK HERE to read the article that I wrote on Medium!