If you have been searching for an answer for how to find yourself, I'm here to support you through that process.
We've all experienced moments in our lives when nothing seems to make sense. However, it doesn't mean that your life is over. The key is to not get stuck in an emotional rut. What would happen if you shifted your mindset around what lost means?
Feeling lost is actually a good thing. It's a sign that you are ready for something to change. You may not know what it looks like yet, but a transformation is coming, in some shape or form.
Are you ready to learn 7 ways to find yourself when you're feeling lost?
Watch the video below where I talk about the relationship with yourself:
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If you want to learn how to find happiness, look inside of yourself.
Happiness is an inside job. It is the result of being present with ourselves. If we don't have a solid understanding of who we are, then we end up searching outside of ourselves for things or people that can fill that void.
In his book, Stumbling on Happiness, Dan Gilbert points out that we all have a primal brain mechanism to help us synthesize the same magnitude of happiness, no matter our experiences.
He says, “Our longings and our worries are both, to some degree largely overblown, because we have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing when we choose our experience.” Gilbert's research shows us that we have the ability to appreciate most things that happen in our lives if we choose to.
There are hundreds of self-help books that are written about “how to find yourself.” However, most of us don't know what that even looks like.
The mere phrase feels like such a daunting thing to achieve. As a result, a lot of people get frustrated and upset when they can't find the answer. However, we forget that finding yourself looks different for everyone. As such, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to it.
Life is all about rediscovering who YOU are and what YOU want. You aren't expected to have it all figured out, nor should you. The path to finding yourself requires that you commit to becoming a better version of yourself.
Personal growth isn't always fun.
It's not a linear process. There will be highs and lows. That's just how life works. As Oswald Chambers once said, “If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a time of great personal growth ahead.”
People become so fixated on the final outcome that they forget to enjoy the journey of becoming. As a result, when they don't get to where they want to go, they lose faith. In order to continue leveling up our lives, it requires that we do a lot of inner work to uncover painful emotions and limiting beliefs that are holding us back in life.
If you are ready to engage in some deep soul work, you can expect to come across aspects of yourself that may be difficult to accept. However, it is during the dark times that we find our light. There is little progress that we can make in this life without a strong understanding of who we are.
Let's explore 7 ways for how you can find yourself when you feel lost in life.
1. Feel Everything
If you feel lost, have you ever sat back and observed what that feels like in your body? Everything lost is meant to be found, but it's our job to figure out what that looks like. How to find yourself when you lose yourself? Try feeling.
Sounds easier said than done, right? The natural response is to suppress negative emotions because they don't feel good. However, you can't climb out of a hole and find your light if you don't face the darkness first.
Your emotional state is your compass; it answer's life's most difficult questions and guides you in the direction of your dreams. If you feel lost, go inward and listen to your feelings. Your intuitive self never lies.
When you tune into what matters to you, you live in alignment with your soul's purpose. Make the effort to know yourself more and become comfortable enough to live as that person. It is enough. You are enough.
Technology has offered us many opportunities. However, it has also disconnected us from ourselves and others. If you are constantly trolling on social media and focusing on other people's lives, you won't be staying in your own lane, so to speak. Technology can drain our energy and send our inner critic spiraling.
Platforms like Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram provide so many ways for us to compare ourselves to others. We forget that a lot of the images of so-called “perfect lives” and “happy faces” aren't always based in reality.
A 2016 study called, “Pinterest or Thinterest” found that fitness images on Pinterest contributed to upward social comparison issues and intentions to engage in extreme weight-loss behaviors. Sources like these only take people farther away from their own happiness.
Try taking a weekend and unplugging from social media and technology. Tap into your creativity, do things that make you happy and connect with people on a deeper level. You will be surprised what a powerful impact this can have on your emotional and mental state.
This is one of the most powerful tools for learning how to find yourself. One way to fall in love with your essence is to join with it through the process of meditation. As you meditate, you clear your mind and are able to cleanse yourself of worry, doubt, and fear.
In this place, we are able to connect with the purest form of self-love. In the words of Yut, “Meditation is a way to know your true self. All you need to know is within yourself, seeking it externally in the world will only take you so far. You need to look within.”
Research shows that tapping into our ability to turn our attention inward has the ability to empower and heal us. In particular, it can help soothe anxiety and increase our overall well-being.
Oftentimes, when people feel lost, it's their mind that is telling them they're lost. This is why it's important to go inward and find stillness. Doing so allows you to separate fact from fiction.
When I talk about the power of meditation a lot of people tell me, “Stefan, I can't shut my mind off.” That's how I felt when I first tried to meditate. However, it's not about ignoring your thoughts. Rather, it's about being present with yourself. When thoughts come up, notice them and then let them pass.
Since I started meditating I feel more empowered, on an emotional, mental, and spiritual level. More importantly, I feel more in control of my mind. This ensures that I don't ever feel lost because I know that I am connected to something greater than myself.
4. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
If you are feeling lost there is a chance that you are looking for a change in life. It's easy to lose yourself when you feel bored and uninspired. When we stay inside our zone of comfort, we disconnect with what makes us come alive inside.
I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and do something different. How can you modify your daily routine? Is there a new activity that you've been wanting to do or a new skill that you want to learn? Switch it up and reinvent yourself! You may learn something about yourself that you never knew before.
Don't be afraid to take some risks and do something that scares you. If you never try, you won't ever know how powerful you can be. I believe that we tap into our innate potential when we take risks. Doing the thing you think you cannot do is how you figure out what you are made of.
Every opportunity that I've been given in life has come as a result of getting out of my comfort zone and stepping into my fear. What would you do if you weren't afraid?
5. Embrace Alone Time
How does it feel to spend time alone with yourself? A lot of people cringe at the thought of doing this. There is a misconception that people that spend time alone are lonely. This is far from true.
Spending time alone means that you are enjoying being present with yourself. I believe that finding some quiet time for ourselves amidst the busyness of life isn't a luxury. Rather, it's a priority. Everything that you need is already inside of you. If you keep looking to others to fill a void, you are going to feel lost.
My morning ritual is my time to go inward and spend time alone engaging in activities that nourish my mind, body, and soul. This time of solitude allows me to reflect, recharge, and energize myself for the day ahead.
The relationship that you have with yourself is one of the most important relationships you will ever have. In the words of Paulo Coelho, “If you are never alone you cannot know yourself, and if you don’t know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.”
6. Seek Out A Passion
We all experience moments in life when we get down on ourselves or don't have the motivation to do something. If these feelings last long enough, they can wreak havoc on our self-esteem. The best way to counteract these negative emotions is to do something that you love.
What makes you come alive inside? When do you feel the happiest? It could be as simple as going for a run or reading a book. Tapping into your passion is all about getting in touch with your authentic self. Dr. Phil McGraw reminds us that, “Your authentic self is who you are when you have no fear of judgment, or before the world starts pushing you around and telling you who you’re supposed to be.”
Once you start to engage in activities that ignite a fire in your soul, not only will you feel happier and more confident, but you will also feel more in control of your world. In this place, there is no room for fear.
7. Ask For Help
If none of the above helps, remember that you aren't alone. There are so many people in the world who love you and that are here to help. Don't be afraid to reach out for support, whether that's in the form of a life coach, a mentor, a friend, or a counselor. Doing so will give you the tools that you need in order to move forward with your life in a positive direction.
Learning how to find yourself can transform every area of your life.
Sometimes we have to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves again. Don't get down on yourself if you don't know where you are going. Life has an interesting way of working itself out, even when it feels like we are going the wrong way.
The best thing that you can do is flow with life instead of against it. We can't always predict what is going to happen in our lives, but we always have a choice how we are going to respond. If you feel lost; or the next time that you do; remember that dark times don't last, but strong people do. That is what you are.
Don't ever forget, “Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.”
I hope my words have given you some comfort in knowing that feeling lost is a natural part of this wild and beautiful journey that we call, life. And I hope that I've provided you with some direction on how to find yourself.
Are you ready to learn how you can master your life? CLICK HERE to join my Online Mastery Accelerator program!
Do you want to learn 3 self-love rituals that you can practice to attract more happiness into your life? CLICK HERE to read the article that I wrote on Medium!