The secret to sexual attraction is polarity.

When it comes to sexuality, polarity refers to the attraction or pull that we feel towards someone when they have an energy that is in opposition to our own.

As Tantric author David Deida says, “Sexual attraction is based on sexual polarity. All natural forces flow between two poles. The masculine and feminine poles between people create a flow of sexual energy in motion. 

In romantic relationships, polarity shows up as masculine and feminine energy. We all have a combination of both energies within us, but we all feel more aligned to one over the other.

If two people have a similar polarity, guess what happens? Their attraction to one another diminishes. Hence, a relationship thrives when there is a distinct polarity between partners. That is the secret to sexual attraction.

Are you ready to learn how you can amplify your masculine or feminine energy and polarize your relationship with your partner?

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People search high and low for the secret to sexual attraction.

Before we can understand how to create polarity in our relationships, we need to understand which energy we feel most aligned with. Is masculine or feminine energy your strength? Whatever energy that you relate to the most is the one that you need to predominantly express as the secret to sexual attraction.

Stereotypically, men are considered to be masculine, and women are considered to be feminine. However, this generalization doesn’t always hold true.

There are women who are more in their masculine and men who are more in their feminine. This is an outdated representation of the sexes. Traditionally, men and women have been thought to be on opposite ends of the spectrum with regards to their genetic makeup.

However, a growing body of research shows that neurologically we are all a mix of both masculine and feminine energy. Masculine energy is direct, aggressive, and action-oriented with a focus toward achievement. Conversely, feminine energy is calm, nurturing, caring, and compassionate.

Masculine and feminine energy depend upon one another to exist. This is why men gravitate towards women that are soft, caring, and sensitive, and women desire men who are assertive, strong, and decisive as the secret to sexual attraction.

I was very feminized when I was younger because I spent a lot of time with my Mom and sister.  I was brought up to honor and embrace feminine qualities, like sensitivity and vulnerability, but I was missing masculine energy.

Even though my Dad was a masculine figure, a large part of me feared him. As a result, I used to be intimidated by powerful men. I had to force myself to engage in more sports and activities that allowed me to tap into my masculine side. When I did, not surprisingly I became more attractive to the opposite sex.

Men and women need both masculine and feminine energy.

For a man, displaying his masculine side is great for achieving things, and his feminine side brings out his loving and supportive nature. For a woman, her masculine side is great for being resilient in the face of challenges and taking action, and her feminine side brings out her vulnerability and nurturing energy.

There are two types of masculine and feminine energies. The two types of male characters that portray different aspects of masculinity are light and dark masculine. The Light Masculine is a man who is a gentleman; he is worldly and sophisticated. The Dark Masculine is a man who is more competitive and aggressive.

When it comes to women, a light feminine woman is cheerful and happy, whereas a dark feminine woman is naughty, sensual, and wild. This duality is best described by Anne Boleyn about herself and her sister in the movie, The Other Boleyn Girl – “I shall be dark and French and fashionable and difficult. And you shall be sweet and open and English and fair. What a pair we shall be! What man can resist us?”

Women and men should embody both energies. You want to be more dominantly light, but you also need to have some dark as well.

Why do you think the pornography industry is so popular?

It’s because a man may want to have a light feminine woman at home but still crave the dark feminine. If he doesn’t receive both, he may look for it somewhere else. The same thing goes for women. They want a man to be more dominant and to take charge because it makes them feel more alive. However, they also need a man who will empathize with her, have an open heart, and take care of their needs.

It comes down to knowing your partner as the secret to sexual attraction… well enough to understand what it is that they need. Does your partner need the light or the dark?

I encourage you to read the book, No More Mr. Nice Guy written by Dr. Robert Glover. He coined the term, “Nice Guy Syndrome” as a man who tries too hard to get validation from women, at the expense of his own needs. The result? Resentment.

When it comes to a relationship, lack of polarity can destroy the passion between you and your partner. If I am a masculine man, and my woman is displaying more masculine energy, then our sexual attraction is going to diminish because there isn’t enough polarity.

However, I want to emphasize that it’s important that men and women display a combination of both types of energies in a relationship and as the secret to sexual attraction.

It’s all about balance.

In his book, The Way Of The Superior Man, David Deida says that “the ultimate challenge for today’s man is to unify heart and spine through the full expression of consciousness and love in the infinite openness of the present moment.”

Some of you may be wondering, “So, how do you keep the sexual attraction going strong in a relationship?” Let’s explore a few ways that men and women can enhance their feminine or masculine nature and maintain polarity in their relationships.

Masculine

Masculinity is the expression of a man’s innate drive towards strength, achievement, and power. Here are 3 ways that men can awaken their masculine energy in order to polarize the feminine.

Have Man Time

When men surround themselves with other men, they complement and soak up each other’s energies. Evolutionary studies show that men really open up and reveal their true colors only when they’re with other men. Having this time allows men to express things to one another that only men will understand, and engage in activities that they are passionate about.

Engage In Sport

A great way for men to tap into their masculine energy is to engage in activities that allow them to consciously practice aggression in a healthy and safe way. Martial arts has been a great way for me to embrace my inner masculinity. It brings out my raw, animalistic side that makes me feel unstoppable in the face of adversity.

Lift Weights

Lifting weights is a great way to put yourself into a masculine state of mind. Challenging your body not only promotes mental strength, but it also gives you a massive boost of testosterone. This helps to increase your sex drive, motivation, and self-confidence.

A study has shown that after only 4 weeks of lifting weights there is a 40% increase in resting testosterone and a 24% reduction in cortisol. Building muscle and burning fat not only makes men feel and look better, but it also makes them more attractive to women, serving as the secret to sexual attraction.

Feminine

Femininity is the unique expression of a woman's innate desire towards compassion, connection and caring. Here are 3 ways that women can awaken their feminine energy in order to polarize the masculine.

Move Your Body

Feminine energy is all about flow, physicality, surrender, and movement. When a woman’s body is in a stagnant state, emotions get stuck. In this place, she is unable to express herself fully.

Find freedom through movement, whether that means walking, stretching, doing yoga, or dancing. Doing so will allow you to activate your divine feminine energy and connect with your sexuality.

Create A Sacred Space

Feminine energy best respond to spaces that are created with love. Create a daily ritual that allows you to connect with your divine power, express your creativity, quiet your mind, be present, and set intentions.

Sacred practices like meditation, journaling, lighting candles, or listening to music awakens and nurtures the divine feminine. When you make self-care a priority, you deepen your connection with yourself.

Feel Your Feelings

We are all emotional beings, but many of us have been conditioned to hide our feelings, for fear that we will be judged as weak or sensitive.

Feminine energy is all about feeling, expressing, and allowing. When emotions are blocked, feminine energy cannot flow. Be vulnerable and allow yourself to feel your feelings, without judgment.

When you listen to how you feel and act in accordance with those feelings, you will make decisions that are more in alignment with your higher self.

The secret to sexual attraction is polarity.

The more different someone is from you, the more attractive they are to you. When a woman surrenders to her feminine energy she attracts the masculine. When a man embodies his strong masculine energy, he attracts the feminine.

In order to live a happy and healthy life, it’s important that each of us cultivate a balance of masculine and feminine energy as the secret to sexual attraction. However, when it comes to your romantic relationship, it is imperative that you fall back into the energetic state that feels most natural for you.

When polarity diminishes, so does attraction. It doesn’t matter if a man plays more of a feminine role in a heterosexual relationship and a woman plays more of a masculine one.

If you want to keep the spark alive in your relationship, do the work to ensure that you are aware of what your partner's needs are. When you do, you will experience an energetic polarity that is like nothing you have ever experienced before.

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