The reason why you’re struggling and failing in life may surprise you.
Over the last few days, I’ve been interacting with hundreds of people through messages, comments and live chats on my website. These are people from all walks of life that have the desire to change and improve their lives. However, despite their best efforts, they can’t.
There’s a part of me that wants to say to these people, “Do you even know how amazing you are?!” Unfortunately, this is where a lot of people get stuck. They don't believe in themselves.
Over the last 6 years, it’s been my mission in life to serve as a positive example of the unlimited possibilities that life has to offer. I don’t want you to struggle for one day longer. I only want you to prosper and be happy.
Are you ready to receive some direct, honest, B.S.-free feedback for why you’re struggling and failing in your life?
Watch the video below:
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Do you know why you’re struggling and failing in life?
If so, you aren't alone. A lot of people don't have the answer why, which makes it more confusing. It’s natural to feel frustrated or disappointed when things don’t go your way.
I assume that you are reading this blog because you want to change something in your life and that’s great! Change of any kind starts with a single step. I want to offer a new perspective on why you’re struggling and failing life.
Many of us have been fed a lot of bullshit. I am here to give you direct, B.S.-free feedback so that you can take your life to the next level. This is my chance to finally give you a big dose of truth! As always, my intention is to serve you.
I create my content with the purpose of helping you save time, stress, and money so that you can get to where you want to go a lot faster. I’m a big believer that if you want to see different results in your life, then you need to become hyper-aware of how your thoughts and beliefs are impacting your actions.
According to research, our brains can produce up to 50,000 thoughts a day, and 99% percent of these thoughts are repeated daily. Your thoughts become your beliefs, which is why it’s so important you are conscious of how you speak to yourself.
Unfortunately, a lot of people fall victim to limiting beliefs. They say things like, “I can’t because I don’t have time” or “I can’t because I don't have money.” These self-limiting beliefs are just perceptions. As long as they remain unchallenged, they will continue to shape the decisions that you make.
You can have all the desire in the world to change your life, but if you don’t have the unwavering belief that you will achieve the outcome that you desire, you are fighting a losing battle.
We all have emotional blind spots. Most of them are based on assumptions and false perceptions that we make about ourselves and the world. These are things that we refuse to acknowledge about ourselves because we may not like what we see. Instead of identifying and questioning why it is that they feel a certain way, people just accept things as true.
The result? Self-sabotaging patterns of behavior. As Warren Buffett says, “What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.” This is one of the many reasons why a coach or a mentor is so important.
They can help you understand what your emotional blind spots are so that you feel empowered to overcome your obstacles.
I want to share 4 possible reasons for why you’re failing and struggling in your life.
If you are skeptical and don’t believe that something is possible for you, you won’t be able to change your life. I share a lot of advice and opportunities online, but I find that a lot of people never take action.
They hold back and tell themselves stories like, “Maybe this won’t work for them”, or “Maybe it’s a scam.” Even worse, they question themselves or other people. At the end of the day, it’s a mechanism that people use to protect themselves.
Oftentimes, it’s based on fear. When you’ve been disappointed in the past and experienced pain or rejection, it’s easy to put up emotional barriers and become closed off to new opportunities in life.
Soon, you get to a point of learned helplessness where you believe that nothing will ever work for you. Research on what is known as learned helplessness has shown that when people feel like they have no control over what happens, they tend to simply give up and accept their fate.
You could have the perfect opportunity in front of you, but you don’t even see it because you have become so close-minded. It’s better to have gone for something 100% than to play it safe and stay in your comfort zone. Don't look back on your life with regret.
Nobody wants to live with “what ifs.”
Embracing change is essential to growing as an individual and becoming the best version of yourself. If you’re struggling and failing in your life, you need to listen to the people that are more successful than you. Why? Because what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked.
Eben Pagan recently wrote a book called, “Opportunity.” This is a man that has made a big difference in my life. I was so excited to speak with him because he’s one of my biggest mentors. He had a book launch and gave away his book, for free, to my audience. All they had to do was pay for the shipping costs.
One person made a comment and said, “The reason why he’s giving away his book, for free, is so that he can get my email address and sell me his other products.” Some people are skeptical because they think that someone is just trying to make money from them. This is an example of close-mindedness.
People like myself and Eben have online businesses. Just like anyone else, we need to support ourselves, which means selling our products and services so that can continue our mission in life. Do I want you to become a customer? Of course! I strive to provide as much content and value for free as I possibly can.
However, there comes a point when I need to sell something. If you don’t buy anything from me, that’s okay. You can still get tremendous value from everything that I provide online. If you adopt a skeptical mindset, you will stay stuck in one place. I encourage you to always be open to new opportunities.
When you can drop your ego, open your mind, and humble yourself, you start the process of changing your life. I can’t help anyone unless they are willing to help themselves.
2. Not Asking For Help
Oftentimes, not asking for help stems from people thinking that they either have all of the answers, they are too embarrassed to reach out, or they want to fix all of their problems on their own.
When you are so caught up in that story, you don't move forward. It comes back to approaching life as a student. The worst 3 words in the human vocabulary are, “I know that.” You have to be open to learning and growing as much as you can.
I know that I don’t have all the answers. I understand that if I’m stuck, I need to ask for help from someone that has been where I want to go.
A series of studies reveals that people tend to grossly underestimate how likely others are to agree to requests for assistance. Frank Flynn, Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior at Stanford Business School says that “People are more willing to help than you think, and that can be important to know when you’re trying to get the resources you need to get a job done.”
I always say to myself, “Who are the people that have already achieved what it is that I want?” I don’t want to go through years of unnecessary pain, frustration, and adversity. That's a waste of my time, energy, and money.
You don’t have to go down this road but, for some reason, people still choose this path.
This is why experts create amazing courses so that you can learn from their failures and mistakes. That knowledge is there for a reason – it’s there to guide you on the most efficient path to success and help you fast-track the process. That’s called working smart, not hard.
Would you rather go through 10 years of blood, sweat, and tears, like I did, or pay a couple thousand dollars to accelerate your learning process? It’s a no-brainer. When you pay for something, you will value it so much more.
Let me give you a real-life example. When I was 18 years old, the first seminar that I ever went to was facilitated by a man named Dan Perrion. I wanted to change my dating life. It was a $500 seminar. I had the desire to invest in myself because I wanted to change my life.
I applied his knowledge to my life and I received massive results from that learning experience. Because I paid for it, I received so much more value than I ever would have if I had just watched some videos on YouTube. The more you pay, the more that you pay attention.
The old adage, “Ask and you shall receive” works wonders. I encourage you to try it. Reach out for help or pay for it. Whatever it takes in order to change your life.
3. Invest In Yourself
I’m a big believer in the power of investing in yourself. People say that they are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve success, but then they quit when things get tough. These people are called dabblers. They only want something if it’s convenient and if it falls into their lap.
If you want to grow and evolve, you need to be willing to invest money into your learning and development. When people tell me that they don’t have time, money, or the skillset to do something, I know that all of those things are just excuses. They are limiting beliefs that your mind tells you that prevent you from taking action.
Nothing of value comes easy in life.
Ask yourself this question – “How committed are you to achieving the goal that you desire?” If you have a million reasons why you can’t do something, then you aren’t ready. The reality is that, if you want something bad enough, you will do whatever it takes to get it.
You will sacrifice time and money because it will be a “must” for you, as Tony Robbins says. This is the mindset of a master. When they can’t find a way, they make a way. How do you expect to be successful if you aren’t even resourceful enough to come up with the time or money to be able to invest in something? The two don’t go together.
Instead of saying, “I can’t afford this”, ask yourself, “What can I do in order to afford it?” Don’t allow your limiting beliefs to control your life. A lot of people get stuck in their stories. Fear ends up overpowering their desire. Your desire has to be greater than any limitation.
I am where I am today because I invested in myself. It wasn’t a walk in the park. I had so many moments when I cried and felt like giving up.
I’ve been at rock bottom. I know what that feels like.
I'm reminded of a story from Seinfeld, in particular, the episode of Andrea Doria. They are giving an apartment to an old guy who is a survivor of a shipwreck accident. All of sudden George Costanza says, “Well, they haven’t heard my story.” He sits down with the board of the strata and he shares all of the struggles that he went through. By the end of it, everyone is crying and they say to him, “You can have the apartment because you went through something WAY worse than what this other guy went through.”
All of the challenges that I went through ended up being blessings. Who I am today and what I have is the result of what I’ve been able to come back from. I’m so grateful for the difficult times because they challenged me. I went 3 years without making any money online. Did I give up? Hell no.
My belief and my desire were so much greater than my fears. I kept my purpose alive. I knew that I would never settle for anything less than I could be, do, have, create, or give. I found the way, and I’m damn proud. In the words of Les Brown, “Our ability to handle life's challenges is a measure of our strength of character.”
I was willing to try anything if it meant that it would get me one step closer to achieving my goals in life. I always had a sense of positive expectancy. I believed that at any given moment, I could experience a breakthrough moment, whether it was the next book that I read or the course that I took. I was always open to learning more.
When people said that something could change my life, I took action. I didn’t doubt them or hold back.
Change can be scary, but I encourage you to be more afraid of what your life will be like if you DON'T change. Let your fears propel you forward, instead of holding you back. Your life isn’t going to change just by watching a video or listening to a podcast. Today has to be different than yesterday. That’s how things change.
Switch it up! If it means investing in a course that is going to take your life to the next level, take a leap of faith and do it. You’ve got nothing to lose.
4. Not Taking Action
You can invest in yourself and know a lot about something, but if you don’t do anything with the knowledge, it’s useless. A lot of people get stuck in analysis paralysis.
Psychologist Barry Schwartz coined the phrase “Paradox of Choice” to describe his consistent findings that, “While increased choice allows us to achieve objectively better results, it also leads to greater anxiety, indecision, paralysis, and dissatisfaction.”
From my experience, it’s not that the strategies don’t work. Rather, it’s the individual that doesn’t work. The difference between people who succeed or fail is a mindset. Nothing works unless you work. You have to apply what you learn.
This may require that you review the same knowledge again and again in order to really understand it. As Zig Ziglar says, “Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.”
This is the secret to developing habits of success.
There are 3 levels of mastery that you need to pay attention to — knowing, doing, and living. Knowing is not enough, because you can know what to do, but not do what you know The real value is doing it and making sure that you are living it every day. When you do so, it becomes a part of who you are.
I’ve been to the Tony Robbins’ seminar, Unleash the Power Within, 7 times now. There are certain things that he shared that I didn’t take action with the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd time. However, the 4th time I finally committed to doing it. It took me paying all of that money in order to finally get it.
The doing part is what changed my life forever. Those experiences were worth every penny because the outcome was so sweet.
A lot of people don’t understand how much action you need to take in order to succeed at something. Any goal requires patience, sacrifice, hard work, commitment, and discipline. If it was easy, everybody would be successful. I welcome challenges because they allow me to become more. If it wasn’t for the adversity that I have faced, I wouldn’t have learned what I have learned, and I wouldn’t have developed my emotions and mindset the way that it is now.
If you’re struggling and failing in your life, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough.
It means that you are going through a lot of growth. Shift your mindset around it. It may not feel good, but trust that it is taking you somewhere. Look for the lessons, and don’t stop until you embrace the blessings.
Today is an opportunity for you to change your life and go to a whole new level IF you allow it to. The alternative is to stay stuck, and that’s not a fun place to be. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom in order to decide that it’s time to get off the bench and into the game of life. It will require you to do the opposite of anything that you’ve ever done before.
What if you decided to change your life and it worked? How would that feel?
When you focus on the unlimited potential that resides inside of you, that’s when life becomes a lot more exciting. I don’t want you to struggle for one more day. I hope my words have spoken to your heart, mind, and spirit. Hopefully, this moment of truth has penetrated through any barrier or limitation that has held you back in the past.
Today is a new day and a new opportunity to write a new chapter in your life.
Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? Absolutely!
Do you want to learn how to build a profitable business selling on Amazon? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free video training!
Are you ready to learn 3 reasons why failure is a good thing? CLICK HERE to read the article I wrote on Medium!