Do you ever struggle with self-doubt? If so, it’s time to boost your self esteem.
Self esteem is comprised of the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that we hold about ourselves. We've all experienced low esteem at some point in our lives.
As human beings, it's normal to experience a range of positive and negative emotions. However, if we allow negative thoughts to control us, they can adversely affect our beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of.
Studies have shown that the majority of the world's issues may be traced to a single core cause – low self esteem. Negative emotions, like envy, jealousy, reaction, fear and anger stem from having a poor image of ourselves. Nobody wants to live this way.
This is why it’s so important that we actively build and cultivate our self esteem on a daily basis. When you have a strong belief in who you are, anything is possible. In the words of Caroline Myss, “How would your life change if your self esteem improved?” It starts and ends with you.
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Do you want to boost your self esteem, but don't know how to do it?
It’s important for you to understand that none of us were born with low self esteem. Many of the beliefs that we have about ourselves were conditioned by the environment that we grew up in. These early observations and experiences shaped our self-concept.
The great news is that you have the power to change your beliefs! When you think empowering thoughts, empowering actions will follow. You are what you believe, so let me ask you… do you believe that you have what it takes to achieve massive success in life? If not, it's time to boost your self esteem.
Here are 5 ways to create more empowering beliefs.
1. Take Action
You can consume all the knowledge in the world, but if you never take action, that knowledge is useless. Knowledge by itself isn't going to change your life. Rather, it’s what you do with it that really matters.
When you take action every day, you naturally feel good about yourself. It gives you the momentum that you need in order to crush your day, especially when you do something right. In turn, these feel-good feelings motivate you to engage in more challenging things, which create more high vibe feelings. It's a win-win.
Conversely, if you avoid doing something or cut corners in life, it will only serve to lower your self esteem. The more that you get into the habit of taking action in every aspect of your life, the more that your self esteem will increase.
When it comes to taking action, it’s the little things that matter most. Take good care of yourself by engaging in simple morning rituals, like making your bed, reciting positive affirmations, and exercising. These small habits shape your character, which in turn, shape your destiny. Before you know it, you will be unstoppable. As Emily Dickinson once said, “If you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves.”
2. Being Authentic and Honest
Have you ever felt like shit, but told someone that you felt great? Sometimes lying happens unconsciously. When this occurs, we may not even be fully aware that we are doing it.
We’ve all been guilty of lying at some point in our lives. However, when it becomes a negative habit, we need to go deeper and understand why we are lying. What are the triggers that make us feel the need to lie? If you don’t express who you are and how you are feeling at a given moment, then you aren’t being real with other people.
Have you ever wondered what motivates people to lie? According to Psychology Today, people engage in two types of lies – self-serving lies and kind-hearted lies. The former is meant to help the person telling the lie to look better than they may feel. The latter is meant to protect someone else's feelings in a genuine manner, despite the fact that it's being done through telling a lie.
I wanted to understand the psychology of addictions on a much deeper level so I decided to read the book, Rewired: A Bold New Approach To Addiction and Recovery. In her book, Erica Spiegelman talks about how many people who struggle with addictions have low levels of self esteem, which stems from living their lives in a dishonest way.
She says, “Lying of any kind lowers our self esteem. We are reinforcing our feelings of inadequacy every time we try to make ourselves look and sound just a little bit better than we think we are. A truly confident person at peace with him or herself does not need to reach for this crutch.”
In today’s digital world, it’s easy to live an inauthentic life. It’s almost accepted as normal. People exaggerate who they are, in an effort to make it look as if their life is better than it is. Social media has brought lying to a whole new level. National Geographic noted that “Our ability as a society to separate truth from lies is under unprecedented threat.”
Be honest with yourself – are you living an inauthentic life?
If you have created a habit of lying, the first course of action towards being more authentic and honest is to shift your mindset. One way that I have been able to boost my self esteem is by looking at all of the different areas of my life that I’ve been inauthentic, and start the process of practicing pure honesty.
We all have an authentic inner voice that tells us when we aren’t being honest. When you lie, you are the only one that suffers. Why? Because it only lowers your self esteem.
People who are totally comfortable and confident in their own skin don’t feel the need to lie. Be okay with expressing the truth, as hard as it may be. It will allow you to boost your self esteem. It may require that you drop your ego, swallow your pride, apologize and be vulnerable, but it will be worth it because internally you will feel better about yourself.
3. Recite Affirmations
The words that we say to ourselves impact our self esteem. I believe that who we are at our core is someone that is truly happy, confident, and fulfilled. If we you have low self esteem, it may be the result of negative conditioning and programming from your environment, which has caused you to create negative meanings from those experiences.
Oftentimes, we end up believing negative things about ourselves because we’ve repeated them, over and over again. Over time, we accept that this as who we are. If you say that you can’t do something, then eventually you are going to believe that to be true.
The solution is to recite affirmations. Create a morning ritual, where you wake up every day and create intentions for your life. By declaring and repeating affirmations out loud to yourself, you are boosting your self esteem. Phrases like, I love myself, I am confident, I believe in myself, and I deserve happiness, are all true. You aren't lying to yourself when you say these things. Rather, you are speaking the truth about who you really are.
Research shows that reciting these beliefs works because the increased repetition of certain thought patterns conditions our brains to begin thinking in these new, more empowering ways.
4. Contribute
Low self esteem can stem from us obsessing too much about our own lives. When you step outside of yourself and contribute to something that is greater than yourself, whether that's giving to a charity or volunteering your time, it does amazing things for your self esteem. It makes you feel grateful and appreciative for the life that you have.
I get addicted to the feeling of making a difference in the world because I've been witness to the impact that my contribution efforts have made on the lives of others. More than that, I know that what I am doing is right, because it is aligned with my values in life. I know that I am a good person. What I've given, nobody can ever take that away from me.
I'm involved in a lot of philanthropy work.
I've traveled to El Salvador and Nicaragua and paid for and physically built a house for a poverty-stricken family. Meeting the families whose homes I built, and having them share with me how my contribution changed their life drastically boosted my self esteem.
Last year I went to Ethiopia, where I was lucky enough to be a part of a school inauguration. While I was there, they honored me and others who helped build schools for children. It was one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had. Knowing how much you mean to someone’s life is very overwhelming and humbling at the same time.
5. Do What Is Right
I believe that we all have a moral compass. At our core, we know the difference between right and wrong. That being said, doing what is right can be a tough decision for a lot of people. Oftentimes we are better at giving advice than we are at following it.
However, the right thing always produces the best results. Sure, When we choose the wrong thing, we may feel less pain in the short term, but our self esteem will suffer more in the long term.
I have a friend who went to prison a number of years ago for stealing. Since then, he's changed his life. I remember asking him, “When you were involved in these criminal acts you found a way to justify it and make it right, but deep down inside, did you know that what you were doing was wrong?”
He said, “Yes, of course. When you are doing things that are wrong, you find ways to rationalize why you are doing them.”
When you don’t do the right thing, it's like sending a message out to the Universe that says, “I’m not authentic.” That message creates a feeling of emptiness inside of us because we have let ourselves and others down. I encourage you to trust your intuition more and do what is right on a consistent basis.
These are 5 tried and tested ways to boost your self esteem.
If you think that your low self-esteem is negatively impacting your life, I encourage you to implement one of these 5 strategies into your day. When you train your brain to look for the good, you start feeling good about yourself.
Self esteem is being able to look in the mirror and be happy with the reflection that is starting back at you. Only you know the truth. Be proactive and focus on becoming a better version of yourself every day. When you do, it will transform every area of your life.
Are you ready to start living every day with confidence, passion, and unstoppable energy? CLICK HERE for instant access to my free Morning Ritual Mastery cheatsheet!