My Wife Cheated On Me… Should I Stay Or Leave?

My wife cheated on me… should I stay or leave?

This is a question that one of the members in my Life Mastery Accelerator program recently asked me. First and foremost, my heart goes out to this person.

Nobody ever wants to be in a situation like this with their partner. Restoring relationship trust after you've been betrayed is a difficult process.

Ready to discover what my response was?

Watch the video below:

(Click here to watch on YouTube)

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Great relationships don't magically happen.

They take a lot of hard work on the part of both individuals. How do you know if you’re working too hard on a relationship? If you're spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it. That's when you know you've got a problem.

When it comes to marriage, it takes even more work because there is a bigger level of commitment. Some married couples appear to be super happy on the outside, but behind closed doors, there may be issues that aren't being addressed.

When people are unhappy, sometimes they do things out of desperation, infidelity being one of them. This is one of the many reasons why the divorce rate is so prevalent among couples. Unfortunately, infidelity and divorce go hand in hand.

While some statistics are conflicting when it comes to how many divorces occur because of cheating, some list the number as high as 50 percent.

Why do people feel the need to cheat in the first place? More importantly, how do married couples survive infidelity and become stronger as a result? I don't have the answers for everything, but I can shed light on why I believe partner's cheat.

In this blog post, I would like to personally address my response to this person.

You first need to identify how your relationship got to the point where your partner felt the need to cheat on you. This is an important process to go through if you want to get to the root of the problem. You need to ask yourself, “What is happening with my wife that would have caused her to react in this way in the first place?”

Secondly, you need to take a good look at yourself. At the end of the day, you are still responsible for everything that happens in your life. I'm not justifying that what your wife did was right. However, it's important that you reflect upon what you could have done differently. Could you have better served her needs and how?

This is why I think it's so important to create a relationship journal with your partner. Yes, it is possible for you and your partner to journal your way to a healthier and stronger relationship, one that is based on trust, unconditional love, and respect.

My fiancée, Tatiana and I have a relationship journal which we use on a bi-weekly basis. We check-in with each other and make sure that each of our needs is being met. If they aren't, we take action to change that. As a result, our relationship continues to grow and get stronger every day. In my opinion, if a relationship isn't growing, it's dying.

If you truly love this woman, I would first try to focus on rebuilding your relationship with her. Ask her if she is committed to being in the marriage moving forward. You need to ask yourself the same thing. Do you want to make this marriage work?

More importantly, you need to ask her if she is open to making some changes in her own life. The reality is that she broke trust. She has to acknowledge that and take responsibility for it. I encourage you to get some relationship counseling, learn how you can better meet each other's needs, and commit to starting over.

This will require that you forgive her and love her unconditionally.

Will this be easy? No, but if you love her it will be worth it. Punishing her for what happened will only make everything worse.

In terms of your children, it's important to understand that you and your wife are the foundation of your family unit. If it is weak, your children will suffer as well. While your children may not listen to what you say, they will definitely model what you do.

If you are sacrificing your happiness for the sake of your children, you're doing everyone in the family a disservice. My Mom stayed in an unhappy marriage with my Dad for years.

Guess what? She was depressed for years and my siblings and I felt the brunt of it. She gave up her happiness and essentially, her life, for us. I never wanted that for her. I would have rather my parents split up instead of being miserable together.