5 Steps to Becoming a More Patient Person

Patience is power. I believe patience is one of the most important skills that you can master in life.

If patience is so good for you, then why is exercising it so hard? Nobody likes to wait. We live in a culture of impatience, where instant gratification is the norm.

A research study found that YouTube videos begin losing viewers at a delay of two seconds, and every second of waiting after that marks a 5.8 percent increase in the number of people who leave. How's that for being impatient?

It's easy to think of a million and one reasons to be impatient because we have become accustomed to getting things done fast. However, I believe that the true measure of success in life is one's ability to practice patience.

Are you ready to learn 5 tips to help you become a more patient person?

Watch the video below where I talk about why your lack of patience is killing your results:

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Patience is a virtue that is possessed by few.

How patient do you think you are? On the whole, are you satisfied to let things proceed in their own time, way, or space? Or do you respond to people and situations with actions that are fueled by a desire to get things done quickly?

If you can relate to the latter, consider yourself a part of the majority. Given the fast-paced nature of the world today, it is understandable why so many people take the quickest and most self-satisfying route to the end zone. However, the problem with this choice is that it can lead to an unhappy life.

In the Western world, happiness is defined based on one's personal achievements. As a result, taking our time feels like a luxury that none of us can afford. We are constantly trying to race to the finish line, taking a short-term approach to everything that we do. As a result, we forget to enjoy the process because we are so obsessed with the final outcome.

I believe that the problem isn't impatience itself. Rather, it's how people react when they feel impatient. One of my favorite quotes on patience is by Joyce Meyer who said that “Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it's how we behave while we're waiting.”

What happens when our natural response is to be impatient?

We've all experienced impatience at some point in our lives. However, when it starts to become a normal response, it can wreak havoc on our personal and professional lives.

Impatience causes negative emotions — like frustration, irritation, and anger — which can elevate our stress levels. That, in turn, can impact our health. Research shows that repeated bouts of impatience stress your cardiovascular system, digestive system, immune system, and every other biological system you have, upsetting your health and happiness.

People have a skewed perception of what patience means. When we think of the word “patient” it is logical to assume that it is a passive state of being, one where nothing gets started or completed. This is far from true. On the contrary, patience requires your full attention and participation. This means that you are making an active choice to not react negatively when things take longer than expected.

Why is patience so important?

Practicing the art of patience counteracts negative emotions, allowing for a more proactive approach to life's unavoidable delays. Not only is patience an active endeavor, but it's also power born out of understanding. If we allow it to, it has the ability to free us from frustration, giving us the perspective to make the right decisions at the right time.

In her bestselling book, Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, Dr. Judith Orloff says that patience has gotten a bad reputation for the wrong reasons. Having patience has come to mean that we are unreasonable. Her definition of patience is that it is “a re-attuning to intuition or a way to emotionally redeem your center in a world filled with frustration.”

I like to think of patience as a habit. As many of you know, integrating any new habit into your life takes practice. Therefore, in order to master patience, we must exercise it. Although it takes time and effort to change conditioned habits, the great news is that it is possible to do.

Let's explore 5 tips to help you become a more patient person.

1. Acknowledge Your Triggers

We all have triggers – things that frustrate us and cause us to react in a negative way. Go inward and ask yourself, “What is the thing that I think about right before I feel like I'm going to lose my temper or go into a state of overwhelm?”

Oftentimes, our triggers originate from our childhood experiences.

• Someone rejecting you
• Someone not making time for you
• Someone not acknowledging your accomplishments

Once you know what your triggers are and where they came from, then you can do the work to heal them.

When you have a greater awareness of the things that make you impatient,  you will be better equipped to respond to them in a healthier way when they emerge. In the words of Edmund Burke, “Our patience will achieve more than our force.”

2. Practice Waiting

Making quick decisions feels good when we are doing them, but it doesn't usually end well. Any time we behave impulsively, the rational thinking part of our brain turns off and our emotions get the best of us. The next time that you feel yourself spiraling into a reactive mode, I encourage you to stop, pause, and think before you take action.

You may be thinking…“I don't have time to wait!” My response would be, this is exactly why you need to practice being patient. Doing so will allow you to more effectively manage stress instead of acting out. Furthermore, by training your brain to get into the habit of waiting, you will naturally become attuned to a more patient state of being.

Start with something small and then build it up over time. If you can chew your food more than twice before you rush out the door to go to work, you are making moves in the right direction.

3. Stop, Breathe & Chill Out

Life is so short, so why spend so much of it rushing, freaking out, or getting overwhelmed about the small stuff? Impatience feeds on these emotions. Let's face it, there's nothing positive that comes from living this way. Try a different approach, like chilling out.

When you begin to feel impatient, stop yourself, take a few deep breaths, and come back to the present moment. You always have control over your emotions. Did you know that you can choose to be calm when things aren't going your way? Doing so will make your personal and professional life flow a lot more smoothly.

I'm not saying that being hardworking is a bad thing. However, we all need time to hit the reset button from time to time so that we don't drain our energy reserves. As an entrepreneur, my patience is tested on a daily basis. From the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey, I realized that if I didn't create a system that would help me stay more present, my business wouldn't be around for very long.

The mornings are my time to relax and nourish my mind, body, and soul. By engaging in activities like meditation, gratitude exercises, and reading, I am able to prime my mind for success so that I can walk into my day feeling grounded. By actively putting myself into this mindful state of living, every single day, patience is my friend.

4. Be Positive 

When things don't go as planned, what do you do? Do you dig your head into the sand or do you dust off your feet and carry on with your day? Patience comes down to one's perspective. Two people could experience the exact same thing but respond completely differently, based on their perception of something.

People often ask me, “Stefan, how can you be so happy all of the time?” My answer is always the same… I choose to be. You see, happiness is an inside job. It's something that you have to wake up and commit to feeling, every single day.

Life is full of highs and lows, but if we only dwell on the bad, we end up missing out on the good. I would rather adopt a positive attitude because I know that this going to allow me to master my emotions when things don't go my way. Having this perspective on life has enhanced my work, my friendships, and my relationship.

I know it can be annoying to hear sometimes, but try to think positively about everything that you do; not only will it help you be more patient, but it will also reduce your stress and make you a happier and healthier person. As the old adage says, “Good things come to those who wait.”

5. Practice Gratitude

I don't know about you, but the moment that I drop into gratitude, my thoughts automatically shift from lack to abundance. I believe that one of the best cures for impatience is gratitude. When we live from a place of lack, we constantly look for more things to fill us up. This is what creates a desire for instant gratification. Conversely, when we possess an attitude of gratitude, we don't feel the need to seek out more.

In the words of Ye Li, researcher and assistant professor at the University of California, “Discovering a way to reduce impatience with a simple gratitude exercise opens up tremendous possibilities for reducing a wide range of societal ills from impulse buying and insufficient saving to obesity and smoking.”

The next time you find yourself getting impatient, make a list of all of the things that you are grateful for. You will be surprised at how quickly your state can change. As Melody Beattie says, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.”

We could all do with a little more patience in our lives. When we take a step back, allow life to move through us, and let things happen in their own time, we experience a freedom that is unlike anything else. As life continues to speed up, we need to learn tools for how to slow down and find our own inner calm amidst the chaos. I encourage you to try out any of the above five tips when you find yourself getting impatient.

If you made it until the end of this blog post, thank you for your patience!

Never forget that patience isn’t about being stagnant and not doing anything. Rather, it's about moving forward, with intention and purpose. In the words of Fulton J. Sheen, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is “timing” it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.”

How can you be more patient today?

Do you want to learn how you can master every area of your life? CLICK HERE to join my Life Mastery Accelerator program!

Are you ready to learn 3 ways that you can become a more proactive person? CLICK HERE to read the article that I wrote on Medium!